Sunday, December 28, 2008

Glass is not Green.

A walk or drive in some of Bangalore's tech parks and industrial complexes can be a breath taking experience. Beautiful modern architecture complete with shining glass facades really make you gaze at them in awe. I did my internship at General Electric, which had four beautiful buildings, all of which had at least 75% of their walls covered with glass. Glass has become the new building material in Bangalore.

But what is the logic behind thus trend? The answer is that most of these offices belong to MNCs and that their offices in India also should also have an international (read American or European) look. Ah, the same old story of us Indians aping the West. So what is the cost of this stupidity?

A huge energy bill which implies a huge carbon footprint! In times when large parts of India have to put up with load shedding on a daily basis, here we have people who are virtually keeping hot plates in their refrigerators! The point here is that all these swanky buildings have central air conditioning. All of us know that glass structures trap heat very effectively and so, we have a tug of war between the cooling and heating processes of the building. What a waste! These buildings make a lot of sense in the colder countries where the heating needs are much higher than the cooling requirements and so it is a good idea to trap whatever natural heat they receive. But what sense it makes in India, specially the south, where the day time temperatures never go below 25 degree Celsius.

In fact in IISc we have brick and mortar buildings with windows that can be actually be opened!! We do not have AC and i do not even switch on the fan. Another point, digressing from the issue at hand, is the high incidence of respiratory illnesses in those building with central air conditioning. Buildings which have central cooling systems are estimated to be recirculating up to 92% of the air leading to the sick building syndrome where people, even sitting at great distances from each other, are at high risk of getting respiratory allergies and disorders from co-workers. Doctors in the city say that the number of people with respiratory problems are on the rise, owing to not just the pollution, but also cross infection inside buildings. So much for all the glitz and glamor of these glass marvels!

It is high time the govt. comes with some legislation banning buildings with glass walls. It can be the first step in reducing the insatiable demand for electricity in India's Silicon Valley.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Pastimes at Red Light Areas

Red light areas are very common in Bangalore and I have been at them many times. No, I am not talking about the red light areas which most of you are thinking about now. I will never use such cheap tactics to make my blog more popular. I love my crap-loving fans. I have written crap, am writing crap (obviously!!) and will write crap till the end of time. Ok, that's a lot of blah to begin with. The red light areas I was talking about are the traffic signals. Boy aren't there many of those in Bangalore. In fact there is a stretch on MG road where there are four signals within 1 km.
So what to people do while waiting the eternity for the red light to turn into the magical green? How does one pass those endless moments of doing nothing in this fast paced world? Some people annoy the people around with their traffic-light-pastimes. Like those who resort to incessant honking! As though the sound of their horns will magically turn the light green! Some impatient asses rev up their engines, all set to sprint to the next traffic signal, even though the timer shows 145 seconds remaining. Others decide to create their own red glows, by lighting cigarettes. I think there is enough pollution in Bangalore and that you really don't need more smoke. I feel all the smokers should place their faces near the exhaust of the nearest BMTC bus if they really need some smoke in their lungs.

Some people are very conscious of their looks. They keep admiring themselves in their rear view mirrors; probably the only time they actually use those mirrors. They comb their hair or mustache. Some even start digging for gold in you-know-where. Gross! The musically inclined riders tap their feet (in impatience?) or start drumming their fingers on the fuel tank or even on their tummies sometimes!! So much for the India fattening campaign.

Some enterprising cool dudes decide it is the best time to practice their reading skills and do so by reading girls' t-shirts and end up staring at the wrong place! Why do girls wear t shirts with gyaan anyways, if they don't like the staring or reading rather. Or maybe Ramadoss can ban such t shirts for health reasons! I also was once guilty of staring, oops! reading, a girls t-shirt. It said "what's up loser?". Pretty apt for all the readers/losers! I think girls wearing t-shirts with literary material will be ideal in the teach India campaign! I must suggest this to the times of India! Then there are these always connected dudes who are always messaging on their cell phones. Probably telling their chicks that they will message again at the next signal, two minutes later.

Other ways of passing time may include meditating. That might be tough with the auto in front of you going TAT-TAT-TAT at a 100 decibels, spewing smoke in your face. Or maybe you could order a pizza and then hope the light doesn't turn green until your pizza arrives! You could also try road singing (like bathroom singing!) and maybe even ask the people around you to join in. What does this writer do at the traffic signals? He just looks around to see what other people are doing and makes a mental note to include it in his very popular blog. [:P]

And then the signal turns orange. Most people see it as green. (I don't know how that is possible as the wavelengths of orange and green light differ by 100nm.) And the 100 meter dash to next signal begins! The guys with powerful bikes take off! I start slowly with my less than 100cc bike and reach the super fast dudes already at the next signal, less 10 seconds after them. So much for the great pick up of these high powered bikes. And the whole process of waiting repeats itself.

Ok, now for some serious gyann. I request all my readers who use bikes/cars to please turn of their engines at the signals. Idling engines are the most unnecessary contributors to air pollution. All cars, including most bikes, have electronic ignition nowadays. The engine can be started in a split of a second. But sadly I still see most people idling their engines while waiting at signals. I switch of my engine even though i do not have an electronic ignition for my bike. I have very strong legs and can kick start my bike faster than a bike with electronic ignition! [:P] Hope this post of crap and gyaan will make your next 'red light' stay more fun!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Lumbini gardens - Bangalore's own Bird Sanctuary

The destination this past weekend was Lumbini Gardens, Bangalore. A beautiful lake in north Bangalore. This is actually a much better tourist spot than the more famous Ulsoor lake which in reality is a sewage dump. I arrived there with NAL's most famous ornithologist Vasudha. This was the first time she was bird watching outside NAL! But that doesn't matter to someone who cannnot distinguish between a crow and a dove!!

We walked along the banks of the lake. We spotted a black creature in the lake that quickly dove in. I thought it was the Loch Ness monster, or the Hebbal monster to be precise. Vasudha declared that it was a duck! I still think it was a crow because according to me, all black birds are crows. Full stop. The ornithologist also showed me pelicans, eagles and egrets. (Note: egret is not the young one of an eagle!) I was fervently hoping for some crow to show up, so that i also could show some knowledge of birds. Damn those crows. There are never there when you want them! In IISc you don't walk outside after 5:00 pm unless you want the crows to bless you. I even played Sheryl Crow's songs on my cell phone, just in case the crows are attracted to her music [:P]

Vasudha tried to act extra knowledgeable, on realising that I knew nothing about birds. She started giving her own names to those birds whose names she didn't know. Like zebra bird and rock bird. I guess she would call a peacock a rainbow bird. We decided to take a paddle boat so that we could get nearer to the birds. She declared that she was the runners up at the Mayem lake boating competition. I dug a little deeper and found out that only two teams had participated and that she was the non playing captain of her team. So much for her boating expertise!!

The guard told us to wear life jackets as there were no life buoys in the boats. I asked him if Medimix would do!!! (saddest joke ever!!!) We paddled quickly to the birds. But like a mirage, they kept moving farther away from us as we moved towards them. We quickly realised that nature is best seen on the Discovery Channel. We also saw a water snake gliding smoothly along the surface. The pelicans were quite impressive with their graceful flight, while the ducks were expert in catching fish. Quite entertaining.

On the whole its one of the better nature spots in Bangalore. Besides boating there are some games, a water pool, a rose garden and some stalls. For further details, check their site. A wonderful trip and an enlightening lesson on bird watching by Vasudha.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The bigger killers

First of all I condemn every terrorist attack. I express deep sympathies to all the victims and I commend the bravery of our security forces. Last month's terrorist attacks in Mumbai have woken up this nation. All sorts of promises have been made to combat terrorism. I hope these promises are kept so that this great nation will be a safer place to live in.

But in all this attention directed towards terrorism, in my opinion is unjustified. I am going to put forward statistics about three other silent killers which are killing our citizens at an astonishing rate behind the scenes. And no one seems to be bothered about it.

First is road accidents. Many people will say that terrorist killings are not accidental. I am not comparing the cause here. I am comparing the effect. Every tragic loss is mourned in the same way whether a person dies from a bullet shot or from a head injury in an accident. Last year in India, an astonishing 114,590 persons lost their lives in road accidents. (info from National Crimes Record Bureau ) And that number has been rising consistently. What has the government done to combat this killer? Mind you, even after factoring in the fact that India has a billion plus population, our country is miles ahead of the other nations.

Secondly, deaths from suicides. Many stories are discussing the impact of this terrorist attack on the economy of Mumbai and India in general. Besides the absolute loss in terms of damage to infrastructure, there is the unknown loss to the economy in terms of loss of business, investments etc. I am no expert in this subject. And you can never put a price on a human life. But any economist will tell you what a great loss suicides are to the economy. What is the government doing about this killer? More stats from the same source, the National Crimes Record Bureau. And you have got to check this out. Accidental deaths and suicide clock. It will give you a feel of the magnitude of the tragedy.

The third silent killer in India is poverty. I have not got any concrete stats to back me up here. But we all know how scores of children die from malnutrition, disease etc. These people don't make it to the news because it has been happening for a long time and its nothing new. It doesn't make that impact which the media craves for. What is the government doing about this silent killer?

I am not saying that the government should stop spending money on defense and internal security and divert all funds to these things. I am just putting things into perspective. One of my favourite books 'Freakonomics' discusses why deaths from terrorism and crimes make a much bigger impact than deaths from more dangerous killers like road accidents. It the human psychology that works that way. You decide what you want to fear. Terrorists or BMTC buses in Bangalore.

Further info: Times of India, December 12, 2008, Bangalore Edition


Planning Commission Puts Social Cost Of Accidents At Rs 55,000 Crore A Year

Road accidents are severally eating into India’s economy. According to the Planning Commission, the social cost of road accidents in India stands at Rs 55,000 crore annually. This constitutes 3% of the country’s GDP.

In 2006, Indian roads saw 1.05 lakh accident deaths — 290 deaths everyday. Of this, the provisional number of persons killed due to drunk driving stood at 8,313 and those killed due to defects in road conditions was estimated at 2,024.

According to K H Muniyappa, MoS in the ministry of shipping, road transport and highways, the
cost of road injuries is usually estimated at 1% of the gross national product in low income countries, 1.5% in middle income countries and 2% in high income countries. According to WHO’s estimates, the direct economic cost of global road crashes has been estimated at $518 billion with the cost in low income countries put at $65 billion.

Accelerated urbanization has led to alarming increase in rate of accidental injuries in India India has 1% of the motor vehicles in the world, but bears the burden of 10% of global vehicular accidents

Monday, December 01, 2008

The Kings go to Mysore!

I finally made the long overdue trip to the historic city of Mysore last Sunday. We set out from Bangalore at about 8am. The group known as the Mysore Kings consisted of Aditya, Clintson, Paritosh, Neeraj, Anoop, Dev, Gampa, Eldo and myself.

We first stopped for breakfast somewhere outside Bangalore. It was a 'drive in' restaurant, whatever that means. All I can say is it drove a hole in our wallets!! Our breakfast cost as much as a 5 star meal! But the food nor the ambiance was anything comparable to a 5 star place. But there were some hot chicks around. Was that the reason for the exorbitant cost?

From then on all roads led to Mysore for the Kings! First on the places-to-see list was Rangantitu Bird Sanctuary. Now we could actually do the real bird watching! No prizes for guessing the first bird we saw. It was the crow! I think the crow should be declared the national bird of India or at least of Karnataka! Then Clintson thought he had heard a humming bird. But it turned out to be Paritosh singing! We stepped into a boat and started paddling across the river. Anoop was lazily splashing the water when the boatman said that the crocs in the river were non vegetarian and he better keep his juicy arms to himself. We saw many bats who showed a lot of attitude because a joker like me had come near them. [:D]

Our next stop was the magnificent St. Philomena's church. It is built in neo-Gothic style. [picked that term from the net!] It is very beautiful. A must see if you go to Mysore. Next stop was for lunch. There i came across a guy selling hand fans made from sandalwood. At least what he claimed was sandalwood. He said Rs. 150 per piece. I said it was too much. He himself kept reducing the price until he came down to Rs 25 per piece. Now it was guaranteed that it was not sandalwood. Whew! One must be really careful when buying such stuff.

It was time for the highlight of the trip. The Kings had come to see their palace! It was enormous and beautiful. You could experience the opulence of the royalty first hand. Vast courtyards. Highly ornate architecture and beautifully carved furniture. For a moment I felt like a king. But then realized a freak like me could never be a king! But if I were a king, Himesh would be my court singer and Golden Star would be the dancer. [:D] Ok thats a little far fetched. Lets get back to reality. You can buy various souvenirs here. And everything seems to have some connection with sandalwood.

Next up was balmuri falls. The 'falls' turned out be a small dam with water flowing over it. All we could see where lots of pot bellied men frolicking in the water! Booze was flowing freely and many men came up to me asking if i wanted beer! Now neither do I look like a boozard nor do I have a beer belly. I wonder why they kept asking me. Oh BTW Kannada movies can be shot here for Rs 2750. Maybe one day i might return there as an actor!

The last stop was KRS dam and brindavan garden. We were not allowed to go on the top of the dam. That was a major let down as we expected to get beautiful views of the surrounding countryside. So we hung around the garden for a while waiting for the famed musical fountains show to begin. And boy, we were in for a major disappointment. The show was mediocre to say the least. I am sure the audience would have been more entertained if we had danced to the music instead of the fountains! We decided to leave after about 10min.

It was time to head home. The Mysore kings had a wonderful time. The palace and the church are the only worthwhile things to be seen in Mysore. But you have got to visit it if you are in Bangalore. And with this trip I have completed a hatrick of trips for the past three weekends!! Yo yo yo! Any suggestions for this weekend?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What a Friend We Have In Jesus

This is my favourite hymn. The words are amazing!

1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

2. Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

3. Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

(For the tune, search you tube videos)

So the next time you are feeling down and depressed, sing this hymn!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Hogenakkal Falls Trip!! A bike trip acorss two states!!

With the cold winter arriving in Bangalore, I decided to head south for warmer weather with my friends for a day. This past weekend six cool BITSGians decided to go on a bike trip to hogenakkal falls. The Road Runners were up and running, or riding rather, by 7:30am. Manish and Gampa were the duo on the splendour, Aditya and Sanchit were the 'glamour' couple![:P] While Ashwin n cooldude (a.ka. Daniel) were the tag team on the xcd. I was the unopposed president of the RR because none of the others wanted the post

And so we started down Hosur Road towards Hosur of course! The road near electronic city was a little rough because of the flyover construction in progress. Boy! It is a one long flyover! I think the govt is planning to link Bangalore to heaven with that flyover so that all the sinners of Bangalore will have an easy route to heaven! [:D]

Soon we reached the border area. We didn't realize when we crossed. But I could feel it in the air that was charged with this strange energy! This was the land of Kollywood. I said to myself, "yes, this is where I belong!" My childhood dream of visiting Tamil Nadu had come true. And then a milestone confirmed that we were in the border town of Hosur!

We wanted to have breakfast and so asked a passer by for a decent restaurant. He directed us to a big hotel called The Renaissance Grande, which was too grand obviously! So the RR decided to make that their first pit stop and ate cream buns in front of the hotel! Soon we were on our way again, but Gampa's sharp eyes caught sight of a decent place for breakfast where I had the best idlis ever. That was when cool dude, using the GPS in his head, got a brain wave that probably shaved of 30-40 km of the trip. He decided to directly go to Rayakottai from Hosur, instead of going to Krishnagiri and then to Rayakottai as the ordinary people do! Readers who don't have inbuilt GPS should refer to Google maps to get a clear picture.

On we went. And on and on. It was good to feel the wind in your hair and mustache and to breathe the clean country air! Beautiful scenery and lovely views. We sped through dozens of small villages. These villages were passed through before you could finish reading their really long complex names like parathavegthalli. OK i made dat up (paratha-veg-thalli!! [:P]) but most names were like that.

And we cruised along. The bikes were awesome. The Bajaj XCD exceeded expectations while hero honda besides giving 'glamour' to the group, added 'splendour' the trip. The odometer kept ticking over. 60km, 100km, 140km. No sign of the falls. Did my GPS fail? Not possible!! I thought we would have reached Kanyakumari at that rate. And then there it was, a milestone saying Hoggenekal 10km!!

We made our way slowly along the winding mountain roads. Finally reached. I handed over presidency to ashwin from then on because I didn't know Tamil. After paying countless tickets for our bikes, ourselves, and God knows what else, we reached the boat area. After some hard bargaining by Ashwin it was settled for 150 bucks per head for a coracle ride. Manish said he hadn't brought his head along and so should not have been charged! Anyways we soon got a glimpse of the falls. It was amazing. There were small waterfalls all over the place. We clicked some snaps. Then went downstream of the falls in the coracle. We had to get off and go to a viewpoint where one gets the best view of the falls. There were many falls in a semi circle. Hence the name 'The Niagra of India'

There were some masseuses offering their services to the tourists. I declined as my rear had suffered a lot on the way there and I didn't want it to suffer further at the hands of those quack masseuse! It was time for a dip. We had a nice time splashing around lazily which was much in contrast to some guys who had taken the bathing quite seriously. They were furiously scrubbing themselves as though they hadn't bathed for years!

We decided to have lunch before we started back. Eating for the first time on a banana leaf was a spiritual experience for me. I tried to absorb the culture of the place just like the way rice absorbs sambhar!! I also learnt a lesson in fluid mechanics. I realized that the surface tension of rasam is quite low and hence will easily flow out of the flat leaf.

Finally we were ready to head back the way we came. I won't describe the return journey. But you can read the description of the first leg backwards if you wish to get an idea of the return journey. Of course we didn't go reverse with our bikes because unfortunately our bikes didn't have a reverse gear!

The long trip came to an end when we reached Sony world junction again. The RR had covered an incredible 320 km for the round trip! All in all an amazing day.

Information about the route for the RR followers! It is exactly 160km from Bangalore or from Sony world junction in Kormangala to be precise. And this is the shortest route!! The route goes as follows. Bangalore-Hosur-Rayakottai-Pallakadu-Pennagram-Hoggenekal. See map for further details.

Thank you Google Maps, Wikimapia, Orkut, Pankaj and Laxman all the help.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Madhugiri trek, the vertical limit!!

The day started on a gloomy note. The typical fickle weather of Bangalore was back! Just when i thought i could sell my umbrella, the rain gods reminded me of their presence. But nothing was going to dampen my spirits today! I was going trekking for the first time in 6 months!! I packed my bag with lots of food and water and headed to the bus stop where the Bangalore Mountaineering Club bus was gonna pick me up.

The trek was gonna take place at a fort near Madhugiri. For further info plz google it. I boarded the bus at bout 7:30 near IISc with Ramkumar. Gampa, Anoop, Eldo, Dev, Rakesh and Sriram were already in the bus along with some other people. But we BITSians were by far the coolest there! The journey was long. It was supposed to be 80km but it took bout 3 hrs!! But we gained some time as we headed towards the west. (:P) The driver thought he could liven up proceeding by screening TZP!! Its a gr8 movie, but not for this occasion. Some females had moist eyes and the guys were yawning by the time we reached the base at bout 11.

All of us scrambled out eagerly and then stopped short in our tracks!! The sheer size of the hill left me weak in my knees. The monolith was so high that the upper reaches were covered in mist. Someone said horses used to climb the steep path with ease. That gave me some courage. Not that i consider myself to be a horse. I consider my self to be a mountain goat!! [:D]

All the trekkers began enthusiastically. But that initial josh didn't last long. Within minutes people were gasping fr breath. But the eight of us (i ll refer to us as Cool Crackers coz it rhymes with trekkers!!) kept climbing up full steam!! Soon the cool crackers also began to tire. The gradient was really steep and at times we had crawl on all fours like monkeys! Anoop was worried about his mustache coming off, rakesh was nervous and was wondering whether he had made a mistake of coming on this trek, Dev was trying to sound enthu to hide his weariness, eldo got bursts of energy during which he used 2 charge ahead and stop gasping fr breath, ramkumar kept listening to music to avoid listening to my dry talks while Gampa and Sriram were trying to get the attention of the gals with their cool cameras! The climb was tough, but the pleasant weather kept everyone in good spirits

As we gained altitude, we entered a cloud and everything became foggy. Soon there were cries of 'cant visible' from the front and back. Luckily there were some carvings in the rock that could barely pass off as stairs that helped us stay on track. I keep myself busy by clicking tons of pics of everyone around.

Finally we reached the summit. Nothing was visible. I had lost track of space and time! There was a biting cold wind blowing which prompted many chimneys to light up. The cool crackers couldn't wait to get started with the eating business. Anyways we bitsians are always pioneers everywhere we go and this was no different. Everyone followed suit soon.

Soon it was time to head back down. I played 'mass' on my cell to liven the spirits. The path was very slippery now. And i could I hardly see with my fogged specs. So i decided to try a novel way of sliding downhill. It was like tobogganing without the toboggan!! It was quite effective for most part. Then we reached the toughest section.

We had to walk about a 100ft along a steep face of the hill with jus a few widely spaced shallow footholds to provide grip. It was really scary. And everyone went really slowly here. The 100ft seemed to be an eternity. Finally we reached the normal phase which was not easy in anyway now that the path was wet. I continued sliding down. Soon it got boring. I decided to spice up things by standing up and promptly landed on my butt. I then tried bare feet. But was still feeling uneasy. Then Ram gave some bhari like he had climber much steeper and slippery slopes during his Himalaya trek. Though I must admit his crossed feet technique was very effective.

Finally were reached the base again. We were all dead tired physically. The bus driver decided to tire us mentally also and played the movie Welcome!! The tune is still ringing in my head!! All in all a wonderful trip.

I would give it a 7.5/10. The trek was tough and challenging. And the weather was great. But it was very far from Bangalore. And the trek got monotonous after a while. The slippery path didn't help either. We also didn't get any good views from the top because of the cloud cover. But its a great place to face the ultimate challenge in trekking around Bangalore..

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Its time to bell the CAT

OK unlike d GRE post, this piece aint gonna give u tips to crack the real CAT.. (bhari!!) The CAT i am talking about is Daniel's own Cool Attitude Test (CAT) . This exam is designed to test the coolness of various 'Indian Institute of Ma Ma Mass' (IIMMM) aspirants..

The first section is verbal.. In which candidates are required to show their proficiency in thrash talk. Next comes quant where u hv u display knowledge n skill along with speed with accuracy in counting bharis, self proclaimed statements, dry jokes etc in a video cip of 10min.. DI is basically dude index.. its upto the candidate to decide how he proves his high DI level.. i believe in freedom of expression..

Himesh and golden star G will conduct PI fr successful candidates.. This star value is bound to attract top talent fr d exam!! But there are special quotas for fans of this blog!! All the best to the rest.. may the coolest candidates freeze the judges!!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

A visit to ‘Excellent Men Hairdressers’

The title in simple terms would be ‘a haircut’. The other day I thought my hair needed some ‘dressing’.. So I went to the renowned hairdresser of Mathikere.. ‘Excellent hair dressers’.. I stepped in their excellent studio and asked for a hair dressing that would include a haircut and a shave.. The artist (barber here) listed out haircuts like a waiter telling you the afternoon menu in a restaurant. He mentioned hairstyles like round cut, military cut, and some exotic ones like golden star cut and himesh cut.. I guess he believed in the saying that ‘god made man, barbers make him handsome’.. I told him I would like a simple cut.. Just cut my hair properly so that I shouldn’t look like a chicken just out off hot water..

I settled into the chair admiring my hair.. I noticed my hairline was receding.. May because of global warming.. I took an optimistic view of things and thought I looked wise with my balding head.. People would think I am a gr8 thinker (which I am obviously, to think of this crap).. I decided I had to live up to my ‘thinker’ looks.. N what better place to think than a cosy chair at a barber’s shop? Neways there was nothing else do as the barber got down to his trimming business.

I began thinking of my trips to my barber in Goa. It was a gr8 place to catch the latest gossip. One would be updated on everything under the sun.. From matka to accidents to fights of both men and bulls.. Then there would be self proclaimed cricket n football experts giving their views on hockey to anyone who would care to listen to them. The drunkards added some spice with their ‘spirited’ efforts in abusing some nonexistent person.. I was disturbed from my reverie my some sudden commotion.. The TV volume was increased.. I realised the umpire had given a wrong decision against india in the test match. I worriedly looked, not at the TV, but at the mirror to see if the guy had nicked my eyebrow. I was relieved to see no damage done.. I don’t have my eyebrows insured and I didn’t wanna look like a Chinese guy.. Ok one bit of advice.. Never go for a haircut when India is playing a cricket match.. At least don’t sit in the hot seat until the match is over just in case u think the barber’s shop is the best place to catch the live telecast.. Worst would be if sachin gets clean bowled while the barber is working on ur hair.. Your ear might get a nasty nick as the barber vents his fury.. Neways, the barber started blabbering something in kannad to the others in the shop right next to my ear.. I was like hold your horses buddy.. Your abuses ain’t gonna make any difference.. So STFU (shut up for the lay people) and get back to work.. He calmed down soon and continued with the ‘snip snip snip’.

Now this barber had a fat tummy.. N his constant hovering around me gave me a relaxing massage!! (If u see the connection).. I started dozing off.. Suddenly ‘phus-phus’ and water was sprinkled in my face.. Holla mate!! Wassup? He thought I was sleeping and he wanted to ask me if he should knock my cool moustache. I thought for a moment. I imagined I was a sandalwood actor with a thick moustache.. Chicks swarming around me.. Ah.. And I was king like Singh is King!! I shook those dreams away and looked wistfully at my thin, uneven, moth-eaten moustache.. I sighed sadly and said decisively ‘knock it of big guy’.. So the barber tried to position my head precisely with respect to all 6 coordinates for the ‘sacrifice’.. Madame Toussad’s wax statues might be less precisely positioned.. N I had to stay still in this position.. Then some stray hair settled on my nose.. It started getting tickly.. So I asked the barber to scratch it for me.. Good he didn’t ask what to scratch..

Finally my hair was dressed..I paid him the fees.. He asked me if I wanted to colour my hair... I said ‘nah, non off my ancestors were peacocks’ n walked off into the cool evening feeling liberated from the burden on my head.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Stray thoughts on Diwali celebrations in Bangalore

A few stray thoughts bout the festival of lights that was celebrated over the past few days.. I have to say that the festival of lights has certainly become a festival of noise and smoke.. I got a feeling i was living in Iraq with all the 'bombing' around me.. Tradition seems to have taken a back seat with hardly ne lamps and akash diyas around.. Jus noise, smoke and some more noise.. If i had a chance to be deaf once a year, i wud certainly choose Diwali time..

I have learnt to appreciate the beauty of silence after this episode. I never knew it wud be so wonderful to experience silence. I like the pictures of Diwali which showed calm n serene lamps arranged in beautiful patterns and was hoping to see them for real for the first time this year. But all i got was boom boom boom.

I asked one guy here at IISc as to why people burst bombs and make noise during Diwali. He said to express their joy. I said to myself, its a blessing that these people dont feel happy too often!! A last observation.. I noticed that the people who burst crackers and bombs close their ears, and sometimes even eyes, tightly after they light the fuse. I wonder what joy u get by making noise and nt listening to it urself. Its like goin fr a mime show or an art exibition and closing your eyes!!

Anyways its all over now.. Bangalore has returned back to normal and I am at peace..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Diwali -- Festival of lights!!

Every year this great festival is celebrated with pomp and fervor all over India. Thousands of tonnes of fireworks are burnt during the Diwali season. But is this what Diwali is actually about?

So much money literally goes up in smoke during Diwali. I am sure this money could be spent for some nobler cause. Maybe it could be given to charity or to an orphanage. Imagine a child's face light up when he receives gifts. I am sure that light would be brighter than the light from the most powerful fireworks!

Besides these fireworks cause large scale air and noise pollution. Most fireworks contain harmful heavy metals like lead and cadmium. I don't think I have to elaborate on the noise part. Each household thinks their Diwali has to be noisier than their neighbour's. Noise, beside being an irritant, is also a health hazard. Also give a thought to the poor children who are forced to work in dangerous conditions to make these fireworks. We encourage such atrocities by our indiscriminate use of fireworks. The accidents caused during Diwali festivities have put out the lights of many families forever. These are just a few reasons why I feel we ought to rethink the way we celebrate Diwali.

I am not against celebrations and traditions. Of course it is the time to celebrate. Maybe we could have community firework sessions so that all people will enjoy the same display. Or we could revert to the old tradition of lighting lamps. Fireworks was never an Indian tradition. Fireworks were invented by the Chinese who I am sure have no idea about Diwali.

In Goa too, we have this weird tradition of bursting crackers on various occasions. We burn crackers during feasts, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries etc etc. It is supposedly to inform the community of the occasion. I am firmly against this practice and have convinced my parents to put an end to it at least when we are celebrating the occasion.

So my dear readers it is time for a change. A change for the better. So here is wishing all my readers a very Happy Diwali!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Karzzzz -- You will pay this debt wid your life!!!

Movie Review

Guess who's back, back again??? Himesh!!!! the legend of bollywood is back!! After his blockbuster debut movie, Aap Ka Suroor - The real love story, Himesh has proved to be a real talent in having the audience in splits within minutes with his acting and dialogs in Karzzzz.. I apologize to himesh bhai for not seeing the first day first show. But hey, the fun never sets when himesh settles debts (pun intended)

I paid homage to himesh's new movie Karzzzz, which supposedly had the tag line Vengeance Is Back, at Lido mall on saturday nite.. N boy was it the best 3 hrs of my life for a very long time. Himesh's acting and dialog delivery are mind boggling.. And the story line is full of suspense that i was on the edge of the seat for most of the 3 hrs.. I didnt c the original Karzzzz mind u.. I could go on and on the awesomeness that is himesh!! But i don think i would do justice to this masterpiece by describing it in my blog. You have got 2 c it 2 beliv it..

However i'll still mention some of the 'cheeeaaaq' and 'ma ma mass' parts of the movie.. My personal favourite was the cool and awesome way himesh claps 2 open the safe.. That ws truely legendery.. Then there was the fight scene in which himesh takes off from a short run up.. 2012 medal propects there.. the costumes throughout the movie were..well.. masss.. I think govinda shud take a walk... n Urmila too had a sexy full golden outfit.. made here look like a character from Drona!! the scene wid 2 himesh's is a spiritual experience!! All the single guys out dere (including myself) shud tk coaching frm himesh fr flirting.. I m sure ne gal wud fall for such stuff.. the ice cream scene ws very romantic!! I mus also mention his constant sideways cool pocket maar (reference Vaibhav reviews) look.. No top view or front view.. only side view.. N looks like bcoz of the financial meltdown, himesh resorted to cost cutting measures in the make-up area.. A person supposed 2 b 25 yrs older 2 himesh looks younger than him.. or is it becoz our evergreen himesh is turning brown?? :P

Himesh is a gr8 self proclaimed dude.. the way the gals faint during his concerts, n how he proclaims himself 2 b a rock star.. N the dialog in which they say aap ka suroor was a super hit!! (holla holla to that!!) Besides himesh's dancing really inspires all aspiring dancers like me.. I must make a passing comment on the several successful attempts at comedy in the movie.. those were the only parts in the movie when i ws nt laughing!! :D

On the whole a gr8 all round performance by himesh.. 5 star rating by me!! And now a few points which point to the fact that i m the gr8est himesh fan of all time.. self proclaimed jus like my idol himesh!!
  • I was movie free since january( meaning i didnt go 2 cinema hall since jan) And i broke the run by goin for Karzzzz
  • Aap ka suroor is the only movie, hindi or english, that i have since more than 1.5 times. I have seen it 3 times for the record..
  • Himesh himself has acknowledge me in Karzzzz.. there is a chracter named Dr. Daniel in the movie.. (For those who have seen the movie, dont comment on this part!! )
All in all Himesh has really spiced up my miserable pre-himesh life!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Communal Riots -- Based on absolutely illogical reasonings!!

I am sure thousands of blogs have been written on this issue.. I just had a couple thoughts about this issue.

-- What is a forced conversion? I am a Catholic since birth. But no where it is written that I am a Catholic. I have all the documents of the Govt of India namely, passport, election card, driving license, pan card, birth certificate etc. But non of these documents say I am Catholic. I am a Catholic in my heart and in my mind. And I am sure no power in this world can read what is in my heart and mind. I go to church every sunday. Does that make me a Christian? I have been to temples also. So does that make me a Hindu? Ones faith is ones state of mind. So all this forced conversion talk is utter nonsense

-- Many people are saying that India was a Hindu country before Muslims and Christians came here and converted the natives. And so all people who are not Hindus have been forcibly converted sometime in the past. I totally agree with that. Historically India has been a Hindu country. But does it mean that India has no place for non Hindus? So what should the USA and the European countries do in this regard? Drive out the thousands of Hindus living peacefully there for generations? Or maybe be 'forcibly convert, them to Christianity. We all know what a disaster the Indo-Pak division was. Lets hope nothing like that ever happens again.

And just another passing remark about inducements offered by Christian Missionaries. Shashi Taroor made a very valid point in this regard in his sunday column in TOI. Why dont the Hindu and Muslim fundamentalist also try to induce people to convert to their respective faiths by offering people financial benefits? Imagine the joy the poverty stricken villagers would feel when offered goodies by not one, but three different parties!!

I sincerely hope that this madness will come to an end. I pray for the victims, that God give them the strength to live through this difficult times. I pray that God bless the attackers, so that they channel their abundant energies for the betterment of mankind. After all one the greatest Christian missionaries of all time St. Paul also was once a tormentor of the Christians.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Dry jokes.. Essence of life

v call em sad joke, dry joke, poor jokes.. other degrading terms.. v look down on dem coz v compare em wid jokes in tv series n movies. Agreed dey r of much lower quality.. but tv jokes scripts r writen n edited a thousand times.. the situations r prepared fr d jokes.. d jokes r delivered by pros which adds to d effects.. else imagine himesh playing the role of chandler in friends and cracking all dose joke in his super cool monotonous tone..n i m sure v wont crack such high level jokes on a daily basis.. even d funniest ppl in our lives will crack high level jokes only once in a while.. thus many of us lead such cheerless y dont v settle fr the ubiquitous n natural dry jokes? beggars cant b choosers n smth is bbetr than nothin.. Not dat d dry jokes r acceptable merely coz dey r d only option.. dey are legendary in their own right.

i personally feel dat my life has been such a success (self conclusion here) becoz i hv made dese dry jokes a part of my life.. dey hv kept me n my frenz cheerful evryday thru thick n thin.. n now dat my fellow dry jokers r spread around d world (india and USA basically.. but its cooler 2 say around d world and btw india n USA 2gather means around d world!!), i really miss dose jokes.. so in order 2 keep dis legacy which v nurtured wid so much love n care (wtf??) intact, kapil khandeparkar has unvieled d khandeparkar trophy.. d rules r simple. driest joke is d winner.. no holds barred..only rule is dat d joke shud b cracked in some real life situation on d spot.. no internet n sms jokes allowed.. d reign of dryness has been unleashed. i'll post some of d entries here.. boy dey r dry.. n dey did make me laugh a lot.. so presenting d driest jokes..

warning: d following content is fr adults only.. parental supersvision id recommenaded for readers above 18 yrs!! .. n d jokes r cracked by pros.. dont try 2 imitate dem.. stay safe n dont try dis at home..

my entries.
kapils chick said dat some movie (4got name) was too slow.. i replied.. 'watch it in fast forward mode'!! -- in d train while coming back 2 blore.. some ppl were goin wid their luggage towards d front of d train.. one junior wid whom i ws traveling said.. 'i wonder where dey r goin'.. i said 'to the front of d train obviously'.. she asked again.. 'for wat?' i said ' if u go to the front of d train u will reach bangalore earlier as the front of d train reaches before the back of the train!!' (dis has got 2 b a good contender!!! plzzzz)-- another one.. in the train only.. once the train stopped in the middle of nowhere.. junior "y has the train stopped now?" i replied "the train driver has forgotten the way to bangalore and has gone 2 ask for directions!!"

khare's entry
we went for lunch today sometime back n sat in wid us asked da waiter guy
ipshi: Egg roll milega kya??
waiter: abhi koi role nahi hai..!!
dan i asked ipshi
me: ipshi kya tumhe acting nahi aati??
ipshi: kyun poocha..
me: acting nahi aati tabhi to usne tumhe Role nahi diya :P

situation: 12:30 pmteammate jus broke up wid gf.. On lunch table he was tellin abt hislife..
teammate: i m feelin very lonely dese days.
urs truly(out of nowhere): congrats u r no longer a human being
urs truly: coz u r afruit now.
urs truly: u r a banana now
teammate:wtf r u talkin abt?
urs truly: u said u r lonely.. Dat means u r akela..dat means u r a kela..dat means u r a banana
note: kapil says he heard dis joke b4.. so may b disqualified..

9XM was showing the sawariya song 'jabse tere naina'..the one in which ranbir kapoor lets the chadar fall and reveal his one of my roommate remarked..

roomie: They should have better let Salman khan reveal his ass..
urs truly: nah...he can't do that....

roomie: y not...?
urs truly: coz if he does that he ll no longer remain Salman khan

roomie: n howz tat Einstein?
urs truly: coz he ll bcom SALMAN BUTT.......

(the above joke may have been copied from the net.. investigations r on..)

manish (although nt a situational joke.. but gr8 nonetheless)
Karnataka State Board of education has decided to rename the chapter on Jallianwala Bagh tragedy to Jallianwala Tech Park tragedy. Why?

Because Bagh-mane-Tech Park
(note to non bangalore ppl.. there is tech park called BAGHMANE TECH PARK in bangalore)

These are the entries.. will update new ones as n wen dey r posted..

So seriously my dear readers.. don u think dat dry jokes r worth their weight in gold??

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Traffic de Namma Bengaluru!!

Yesterday i ws travelling by bike frm somewhere near LAL Bagh to yeshvantpur via majestic at bout 7pm... N boy did i really get a taste of namma bengaluru traffic fr d 1st time.. N d rain gods decided dat i must hv a baptism of fire or water rather!!! The positive part ws that i got 2 use my raincoat ordered frm fr d 1st time!! But it turns out it wud nt b a +ve thing after all..

The traffic got really bad after corporation circle.. n so did d rain. the raincoat sucked.. i plan 2 sue them fr a billion dollars (Zimbabwean dollars) .. Water ws trickiling down my back in no time.. making me uncomfortable in weird places!! thanks 2 jockey fr doing its best.. N fr some reason d signals were nt working.. so every1 tot he had d rite off way.. making things worse were my specs.. i cudnt c nething.. but i don need my specs coz wen i asked some1 d way 2 malleshwaram he said " go straight n then straight.. n more straight" so who needs 2 c where u r goin wen u jus hv 2 go straight.. good thing i m straight.. so i had no probs goin straight!!

Once jus b4 majestic a bus driver cudnt engage 1st gear properly.. n went a lil backwards right into a car.. bumper 2 bumper traffic here.. n d best part ws an auto driver gets out n starts firing d bus guy.. i m like. dude look at ur vehicle n then talk!!! A little futher i had some entertainment.. i stopped next 2 a mass bus.. n watched some ma ma mass movie fr a while.. boy dose movies r funny in ne circumstance!!! Then dere were dese guys on a bike discussing y d karnataka govt wants 2 felicitate bindra.. one guy felt dat dey shud use d money 2 built flyovers atleast in his name.. yeah maybe kids wud b tk 2 sports rite away if dey knew dey will hv flyovers in their name if dey do well!!!

The traffic eased slightly nr majestic.. but b4 long v were stuck again.. dis time at an underpass jus after majestic.. n unfortunately i had 2 stop at a spot which ws atleast a foot deep underwater.. thank u hero honda fr giving gud ground clearence.. one cool guy in an innova decided 2 liven up d situation by playing some loud music.. n then honking.. n then rocking his car eddie guerrero style.. don how he did dat.. but it ws gud.. d guy next to me in d water started tappin his feet n splashed water all around!! By then i had covered bout 8 km in more than an hr!!

Finally d traffic eased n i reached home in another 15min.. boy i ws soaked to d marrow of my bones!!! thank u blore fr d gr8 experiance!!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

My journey in getting 1560 in GRE!! :D

Well it feels so gud 2 write dis posts with the title mentioning i got 1560!! yoyo .. bhari!!! :P A note to all my fans who read my blog.. This blog is mainly fr ppl who r interested in answering GRE.. But all r welcome 2 read..

My preps started in march.. I started so long back fr 2 reasons.. First my initial date ws July2.. But i had 2 change it as i wanted 2 change d venue.. Second was that i used 2 b at office for d full day.. So max i used 2 get 2 hrs per day.. I started my preps by doin word power made easy.. it helps coz its nt as dry as barrons n coz it teaches u roots of words.. Then came the marathon excercise of word lists.. It really took me a long time.. N its sooooo boring.. Neways my strategy ws that i 1st did all d word lists as they are in d book.. n noted down all d words i found difficult.. So i made my own shorter word list.. I did that for a while.. Till i felt i ws fully confident wid 95% of d words.. Then in started wid barrons exercises ( dose 4 chapters jus b4 d WL).. After that i did all big book tests.. they help u learn 2 apply d words u mugged up wid so much love!!! Then last i did kaplan tests only.. n powerprep.. Bottom line.. barrons is a must.. coz stone cold said so!!!

For quant it really depends on ur math skills.. i ws fairly confident i ws gud.. so i didnt do much.. barrons is gud fr basics.. i did nova fr d counting n probability part as i felt i ws weak dere.. N dere is dis pdf on d ets site which is gud.. Also it depends a gr8 deal on ur application on d spot..

So that sums up my preps in brief.. Hope it helps all dose aspiring fr a gr8 GRE score..

Sunday, July 27, 2008

GRE=words+stupid words+crap+wtf+dumb formulae= madness!!!

The other day i ws pouring some milk fr myself n suddenly true to murphy's law my phone rang.. N dat distraction caused d milk 2 spill.. I ws angry wid d caller n wid d mess.. then i tot.."It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid." Dont be stumped!! All dose who answered GRE will b able to decode dat crap!! For my frenz who r still sane n hv nt given GRE, its d old saying dont cry over spilt milk.. N i tot 2 myself.. how much d word lists have taken over my life.. the other day i told my house owner ws scolding his dog.. i said to him.. "It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers." ( You can't try to teach an old dog newtricks) He looked at me as though i spoke greek!!

Well dis is wat happens wen u hv to mug up 3500 words to study fr GRE.. an exam dat is used as a criterion fr admission to Engineering colleges in USA.. I must say its absolute torture.. why d hell is one supposed 2 knw dat pterodactyl was a flying dinosaur or animadversion means critical remark?? N the reading comprehensions tk d cake!! u get absolute nonsense on topics ranging from slavery in america to feminism in europe to god knows wat else!! It absolutely drives u crazy..

Then there is d math part.. now dis shud b an important part fr an engg entrance exam.. But wait.. most questions will b solved by ne 1oth std student!! things like list prime numbers between 20 and 30, or questions on pythogras theorem!! its hillarious to think dat dis exams is supposed 2 test ur math skills!!

Neways dere r jus 14days left fr my GRE.. then i ll never hv to go thru dis torture again!!!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

My future

Where do I see myself 20 yrs frm now.. Well I hope 2 c myself in many places besides the mirror in my bedroom.. (:P) Well I wanna graduate frm MIT n then become an astronaut wid NASA n see the earth frm a 100 miles above!!! But wat after dat?? Please don choke on ur coffee or fall of frm ur chair wen u read d next sentence.. I want to be a prof at BITS-Pilani… Goa Campus!!!

I always felt dat engineers who don get a decent job in d industry take to teaching..There r exceptions.. but dose r few n far apart.. And d result is, well, wat v hv in our colleges 2day.. So I feel I must b d change I want 2 c..

Wat kinda prof will Daniel be?? He will b the guy who absolutely detests formalities.. He will not be called Sir by d students.. Y not use ur first name?? He will have some entrance music played wen he enters d class.. (WWE style!!).. or rather a exit music in dis case as most students come 2 class 10 min late..3/4ths and sleeveless will b encouraged..( fr both boys n gals mind u..) All dose who sit on d 1st bench n try 2 lick d teachers will b punished by making them sit on d last bench wid d talkative students.. Videos of lectures will b put on LAN!!!

On a serious note, there many things I wanna change wid d current system.. Syllabus shud focus more on concepts then jus plain definitions n formulae.. all test shud b open book.. some tests shud also be answered in groups.. like how v hv some our assignments.. Also participation in national n international competitions will be encouraged.. Discussions on contemporary research n new inventions n discoveries will be held regularly.. Else v wonder y r v studying things discovered decades or centuries ago..

So here goes.. Get ready to welcome Prof Daniel at BPGC!!!! the future HOD of mech dept!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008


The other day I ws waiting at d bus stop.. For a bus.. :P A bright pink bus with yellow flowers all over pulled to a stop.. Some loud massy music ws blaring frm d inside.. I stepped in the theatre or the bus rather.. The conductor ws shouting kaluny (its colony I later learnt) oprada ( dats O-Farm in reality) karude.. Finally after revving the engine fr a full 5 minutes, d bus started moving.. it ws jam packed.. I decided to watch the movie.. its ws bloody.. some fight ws goin.. I didn’t knw who were d gud guys or d bad guys.. dey all appeared same.. dere ws bloodshed all around.. it ws depressing.. so I started lookin at my co passengers. Suddenly my eyes looked wid a gal who ws lookin at me.. I guess I ws staring at her absently (I swear!!) She adjusted her duppatta all shy n self conscious ( ala BITSGian chicks!!) I quickly looked away.. else I might hv been arrested fr visual molestation ( wateva dat is) Meanwhile the movie continued n another 100 guys died… The conductor came 2 collect d fare.. and invariable he asked fr ondu (one) rupee more no matter d amount u gave him.. All u hv to do is look at him dumbly.. n he leaves quietly.. Meanwhile the bus driver ws using every bhp of d engine 2 its max..I guess he ws a force Bangalore driver.. Speed breakers were back breakers.. Suddenly golden star made his appearance in the movie.. N evrythin ws romantic frm then on.. even the atmosphere in d bus calmed.. I got a place to sit.. Golden star ws at his best.. now I knw y all d gals like him.. he is so smart n cooooool.. I ws so engrossed in d movie dat I missed my stop.. (:P) I got off in a hurry.. now I had 2 catch a bus back.. I saw another mass coming.. I quickly ran to catch it..

Praise be to God..

This post was prompted by the severe pain I was suffering from at by knee joint for the last one week.. After the 10k run, my knees haven’t been in the best shape. I think I m growin old.. (:P) I couldn’t walk properly nor could I play TT.. N stairs were a big no!! It ws torture.. I then realized how lucky I ws.. how much God has blessed me by making me an able bodied person.. wen I saw other ppl limping like me I said a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord for making me perfect.. My limp ws only temporary.. its almost fine now.. but our disabled friends have to bear the pain n discomfort throughout their lives.. Imagine how tuff dat must be.. So my dear friends praise God and use the gifts He has given you to the fullest and for the best.. And never ever look down upon ne1 who is not as fortunate as you..

Monday, May 26, 2008

Dee Aye Ass See O

For those who didn’t follow what the title means, I’ll give you another clue. Bangalore, where I am currently doing my PS-II, is well known for it. Everyone, on knowing that I am in Bangalore, asks me whether I have been to one yet. Yes, you guessed it right, its DISCO. I hadn't been to one in Bangalore yet, and had also not been under one yet in BITS. For those who didn’t get my sad joke, the latter disco I am referring to is the disciplinary committee in BITS.

Such an important occasion of my life started rather abruptly with no prior preparations. Not an ideal start I must say. My friend called me up to tell me about the plan just when I was leaving my office one Friday evening. I was dead tired. No, not from the hectic work of PS-II, which is very relaxing by the way, but from my hour-long gym session. However, I agreed readily thinking it was a great opportunity to break my disco-trips-duck.

I rushed home to get ready. Now I was faced with a big dilemma of what I was going to wear. Shirt? Nopes, too formal. T-Shirt. Nah, cause I only had BITS t-shirts. Boy aren’t there many of them!! Not that it’s a crime to wear a BITS t-shirt to a disco. But I guess a t-shirt from an engineering college doesn’t make a good impression at a disco. So finally I settled for a plain shirt.

I rushed to meet my fellow party animals. All were dressed in their ‘Friday best’. We were very excited. We practiced our dancing so that we wouldn’t look like novices. The only steps we knew well were the mass steps we did in our Zephyr dance. (click here and here to view the videos) There was lightening in the sky when we left the house. I smiled. Not because I thought that someone was taking my picture to capture the moment for posterity. I smiled thinking about how even the rain gods were playing their part in getting us into the mood with a dazzling display of lights. We didn’t have a chauffeur driven limousine to take us to the disco. So we settled for a BMTC bus. The bus was quite long and it had a driver. Some similarities to the limousine there. [:P]

Off we were on our historic trip. We couldn’t wait to get there and in our excitement we got off at an earlier stop. So we had a long walk to warm us up for some serious dancing to fast paced music. Finally we reached our destination. You should have seen the sheer delight in our eyes. The sign that said OXYGEN in brilliant blue neon lights mesmerized all of us. We quickly paid for the passes and entered.

The room was dark and smelt of stale cigarette smoke. Severe lack of oxygen despite the name. I could make out the silhouettes of people sitting at tables. There was a huge LCD TV on a wall. And some ‘shas bahu’ serial was going on Sony TV. Hold on mate!!! Was this a disco or some family restaurant? A major anti climax I must say. I was expecting some steamy videos to be running. The dance floor was empty. No one was dancing. And the DJ was playing some sad music like a moron. We moved into the next room hoping for something better. It appeared like a gambling den. Some weird guys and not so weird gals were sitting in some, to put it mildly, unusual positions. I was flabbergasted. So this is what a disco is eh? A family room and a gambling den. I decided to drown my sorrows with alcohol. I looked at the menu card. The prices were prohibitive. So I settled for a bottle of Kingfisher Strong Beer. I sincerely hoped that the king of good times would rescue me from this bad time.

The beer combined with the smoke lightened my head. I wanted to dance. I felt it was the time to disco!! My fellow dejected party pals agreed. I went and told the DJ, “Hey Mr. DJ, put a record on, I want to dance with my baby!!!” Quoting Madonna there from one of her hit songs. The DJ looked around searching for my baby. I gave him a stare and said, “In the end it doesn’t even matter…. If I have a baby or not!!!” He must have thought either I was a hardcore music fan or more likely I was totally zonked. I left him with a final statement “Please don’t stop the music.”

By then many people had come onto the dance floor. I did all my AH2 dance performance steps. All the people were looking at us with admiring looks. Ah, all the attention we were getting gave us a heady feeling. I almost expected some of them to ask us for autographs. One drunken dude came up to us and told us we weren’t dancing properly to Shakira’s ‘hips don’t lie’. He said he would teach us and we learnt some very complex Latino steps. I never knew I could dance like that. Then there was this group of Ranbir Kapoor impersonators. Unfortunately for everyone no Sawariya songs were played and we didn't witness the towel scene!! [:P]. And there was this very romantic couple that danced waltz when the DJ was playing rock music!! I guess besides being blind, love is deaf too.

Sometime, while dancing a little too enthusiastically to Koi Kahe, I slapped a guy by mistake. Luckily he didn’t realize what had hit him. I quickly looked the other way not wanting to leave the place on a stretcher. As time wore on the dance floor got a little too packed for liking. We couldn’t dance freely. We decided to leave when we could shake it no more.

No sooner we left the disco it began to pour. We tried to run for shelter but then thought, why bother? This was our first disco visit and we may well enjoy every bit of it. Bangalore’s party circuit just had some very cool members added to it. Some years down the line I’ll remember this day and many other days and say to myself, “those were the best days of my life”.

I wrote dis article for the college magazine BITSAM.


The other day I was thinking wat makes ppl cool.. 1st I wanna ask is it gud 2 b hot or cool?? Coz according to the laws of thermodynamics a body cant b hot n cool!!! I wud prefer 2 b cool as it sounds cool.. So wat makes ppl cool?? Do u need 2 say “ I m a cool dude man” to be cool?? Or like d other day, on a hot summer morning, a guy entered d bus wearing a leather jacket over a woolen long sleeved pullover!!! Now I guess he ws a cool dude who ws trying his best 2 insulate himself frm d warm surroundings!! Wat bout a gal who ws trying 2 talk wid a bmtc bus conductor in english!! Dat too wid a fake accent!! Then there is romesh powar wid his orange specs!!! Or himesh wid his cap!! Or rajni kant wid his ‘phuck phuck’ moves.. N d list is endless.. So how does one become cool?? 1st step is to think u r cool.. if u hv d cool attitude half d work is done!! U shud think where dere is faith dere is no fear!!! Or honesty is d best policy!! ( wat connection??) Next step some cool clothes wid some bright accessories.. A gud fake accent wid shud sound fake.. I guess dats it!!! N lo n behold a cooldude is born!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Which causes more greenhouse gas emissions, rearing cattle or driving cars? Surprise!!! According to a new report published by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, the livestock sector generates more greenhouse gas emissions as measured in CO2 equivalent – 18 percent – than transport. It is also a major source of land and water degradation.

The above paragraph is frm an article by the United Nations.. You can read the full articles from the following links..

Greenhouse gases coz global warming n all the associated climate extremes that v r seeing 2day.. It’s a major coz for all the droughts around the world which r driving millions of poor ppl 2 starvation.. It’s the major coz of all those devastating floods that destroys livelihoods of millions of ppl.. It’s a major coz of deadly tropical storms which even brought the greatest nation on earth, the USA, to its knees.. Glaciers r melting, lakes r drying n sea levels r rising.. N wat r v doing?? Nothing.. Our only home in this whole wide universe is dying!! N yet v sit tight doing nothing.. How can v be so inconsiderate to our fellow human beings and our future generations? Humans are supposed 2 b the intelligent animals.. But I wud be ashamed if a lion or a tiger wud ask me to justify our actions.. Is there ne justification?? For all those skeptics of global warming, I suggest u watch Al Gore’s movie, THE INCONVINIENT TRUTH. It shud effectively clear all the doubts frm ur minds..

N then there r some ppl who think others will do smth.. all those NGOs will do smth.. Another class of ppl say dat v hv only one life on dis planet.. so y waste it by leading a conservative lifestyle?? I guess its becoz of such ppl that v r facing natures wrath 2day.. The time has come my friends to make a stand.. a stand fr nature.. I m nt suggesting u leave ur jobs n start leaving in a jungle, or stop using all modern amenities.. Jus start reducing.. Reduce ur non veg component of ur diet fr instance.. or using public transport more.. stuff like dat..

Another reason 2 stop eating non veg, besides the environmental aspect, is the food crisis.. Land use 2 grow food crops is now being used to grow fodder.. N that led to the food crisis of 2day.. U r feeding the food that poor ppl only dream of to livestock.. isn’t dat inhumane?? The conversation efficiency of a plant crop to animal meat is bout 9%.. That means if u feed 100kg of food crop 2 livestock u ll get only 9kg of meat.. wat a colossal waste!!! N factor in the miserable condition of the livestock.. I guess ne person with some sense wud resolve to stop eating non veg food..

I have effectively stopped eating non veg from all livestock.. dat includes chicken, eggs, beef, pork etc.. I eat fish sometimes.. But I ll stop dat also in due course of time as over fishing causes damage to marine environment.. I find it really hard.. I ws a hardcore non veg.. the transition ws tuff.. But the thought dat I m doing smth fr d environment drives me on..

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

greatest scene ever!!

Best mass movie seen ever!!!

This scene even beats the tractor wheelie or the sliding horse scene!!! Hero is one man army ( as usual).. he is fighting 1027 villains at a time.. yeah I counted.. one villain decides to give him a flying spear move.. ( even wwe stars wud b ashamed if dey saw it).. Villain is in d air, flying towards hero’s back.. hero jus nonchalantly ( m studying gre) plucks him from mid air… swings him around n sends him flying on a cart full of some green bottles.. don knw wat it ws doin dere.. neways the cart flips n all d bottles fly into the air.. n each bottle falls on a villain’s head and bout 100 villains r dead in a flash!!! Wat entertainment!!! If ne1 knws d movie I m describing plzzzzzz post the name in the comments section..


Importance of FANS!!!

Well I am not talking bout those rotating 3 blade objects very much needed to beat the summer heat.. Great joke to start of with!! Yo yo.. I am talking bout fans that wikipedia describes as ppl who hv an intense, occasionally overwhelming liking of a sporting club, person, group of persons, company, product, work of art, idea, or trend. I am talking bout fans of persons. Great ppl like Golden Star G (Shame on u if u don knw him), Swapnil Asnodkar ( I’ll kick ur butt if u don knw him also), Himesh ( ah!! His name itself is melodious!!), SHAKTIMAAN ( our own super hero!! Sorry shaktimann) etc are gr8 coz of their fans.. They may hv achieved a lot in their illustrious careers, but wats d use if ppl don idolize them for their achievements?? Dats y I wanna thank all my fans, past, present and future, for all their help n support in making me d gr8 person I m 2day.. Fans keep me goin wenever I feel down n things aint goin my way.. So much so that they convinced me 2 start a blog. I used 2 always wonder y ppl blog.. wat do they get frm it.. Now I myself hv joined the blogging world.. Y?? u may ask.. Coz of my fans ofcourse.. They said that the world who doesn’t yet knw of the gr8 one ( dats me) should be enlightened n join the revolution.. So finally I m here.. Join my fanclub.. join the revolution..

The Beginning

Please welcome the reflection of perfection Danny into the blogging world!!! Fans (:D) and critics alike can now now read bout the great thoughts and deeds of the self proclaimed cool dude!! I wont get into full time blabbering on the 1st day itself.. So here goes.....