Sunday, December 14, 2008

Pastimes at Red Light Areas

Red light areas are very common in Bangalore and I have been at them many times. No, I am not talking about the red light areas which most of you are thinking about now. I will never use such cheap tactics to make my blog more popular. I love my crap-loving fans. I have written crap, am writing crap (obviously!!) and will write crap till the end of time. Ok, that's a lot of blah to begin with. The red light areas I was talking about are the traffic signals. Boy aren't there many of those in Bangalore. In fact there is a stretch on MG road where there are four signals within 1 km.
So what to people do while waiting the eternity for the red light to turn into the magical green? How does one pass those endless moments of doing nothing in this fast paced world? Some people annoy the people around with their traffic-light-pastimes. Like those who resort to incessant honking! As though the sound of their horns will magically turn the light green! Some impatient asses rev up their engines, all set to sprint to the next traffic signal, even though the timer shows 145 seconds remaining. Others decide to create their own red glows, by lighting cigarettes. I think there is enough pollution in Bangalore and that you really don't need more smoke. I feel all the smokers should place their faces near the exhaust of the nearest BMTC bus if they really need some smoke in their lungs.

Some people are very conscious of their looks. They keep admiring themselves in their rear view mirrors; probably the only time they actually use those mirrors. They comb their hair or mustache. Some even start digging for gold in you-know-where. Gross! The musically inclined riders tap their feet (in impatience?) or start drumming their fingers on the fuel tank or even on their tummies sometimes!! So much for the India fattening campaign.

Some enterprising cool dudes decide it is the best time to practice their reading skills and do so by reading girls' t-shirts and end up staring at the wrong place! Why do girls wear t shirts with gyaan anyways, if they don't like the staring or reading rather. Or maybe Ramadoss can ban such t shirts for health reasons! I also was once guilty of staring, oops! reading, a girls t-shirt. It said "what's up loser?". Pretty apt for all the readers/losers! I think girls wearing t-shirts with literary material will be ideal in the teach India campaign! I must suggest this to the times of India! Then there are these always connected dudes who are always messaging on their cell phones. Probably telling their chicks that they will message again at the next signal, two minutes later.

Other ways of passing time may include meditating. That might be tough with the auto in front of you going TAT-TAT-TAT at a 100 decibels, spewing smoke in your face. Or maybe you could order a pizza and then hope the light doesn't turn green until your pizza arrives! You could also try road singing (like bathroom singing!) and maybe even ask the people around you to join in. What does this writer do at the traffic signals? He just looks around to see what other people are doing and makes a mental note to include it in his very popular blog. [:P]

And then the signal turns orange. Most people see it as green. (I don't know how that is possible as the wavelengths of orange and green light differ by 100nm.) And the 100 meter dash to next signal begins! The guys with powerful bikes take off! I start slowly with my less than 100cc bike and reach the super fast dudes already at the next signal, less 10 seconds after them. So much for the great pick up of these high powered bikes. And the whole process of waiting repeats itself.

Ok, now for some serious gyann. I request all my readers who use bikes/cars to please turn of their engines at the signals. Idling engines are the most unnecessary contributors to air pollution. All cars, including most bikes, have electronic ignition nowadays. The engine can be started in a split of a second. But sadly I still see most people idling their engines while waiting at signals. I switch of my engine even though i do not have an electronic ignition for my bike. I have very strong legs and can kick start my bike faster than a bike with electronic ignition! [:P] Hope this post of crap and gyaan will make your next 'red light' stay more fun!

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