Musings of an Indian Tourist

You may have read or heard about India, or seen pictures and videos, but nothing prepares you for the sea of humanity that greets you as you walk the streets of the big cities. The sights, sounds, smells and tastes can excite, stimulate, inspire and leave you in awe. I soaked it all in like an idli soaking in sambhar. This was my first time as a tourist in India. I had lived in India for most of my adult life, but I had never traveled as a tourist. And what better place to start off my India Diaries than the Golden Triangle of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. Last month, I finally got my chance with three of my best friends.

North India is steeped in history. Stuff I wasn't unaware off, as I had read my history books well. But being there in person and touching the artifacts takes you back in time. You can imagine and relive the glory days of India. Stories of bravery and justice. Legends and tales of war and love. It can instill a sense of pride and a feeling of hope, that maybe India might one day again be the envy of the rest of the world. The highlight for me was the Taj Mahal. It sits on the banks of the Yamuna, serene and beautiful amid all the chaos. You hear it speaking to you, telling you a story. The marble beauty looks delicate, almost fragile as it shimmers in the sun. But you know it has stood there for hundreds of years, standing proud and aloof as eras have come and gone, mesmerizing countless souls who came seeking her beauty. It is truly timeless.

But as a tourist, you are greeted by more than monuments from the past. There are a lot of characters, who for the better or worse, add color to your trip.

The pestering 'guides' – You can ignore, argue or plead with them to leave you alone. Nothing will work. Some look genuinely annoyed when you call them guides. They say there are students. I am not sure how that is supposed to be better. Maybe next time one of us should wear a hoodie that says 'All Purpose Guide' on the back. I wish there were more signs and information at all the historical sights, so that the guides wouldn't circle us like vultures the moment we get out of the car. Pro tip, read everything in advance or get a guide book if you are interested in the details of the places you visit.

The posers – We had a great time observing young guys posing in some outlandish stances. Movie stars would be put to shame. I can say India has a bright or at least a stylish future. On the other hand, the older folk were the grumpy Indians. Not sure if they have all become followers of Tard, the grumpy cat, or if they are unimpressed by digital cameras. Maybe there were used to posing for paintings and I suppose you can't smile for hours on end.

The hawkers – If guides are the appetizer vultures before the trip, hawkers are the desserts. I credit them for being hustlers. They will try to sell cheap plastic as marble, claim that their souvenir changes color when wet (just a darker shade on being asked for evidence), try to guilt you into buying something by saying 'madame likes' by pointing to the lady in the group. A hawker on the road divider took the cake. He tried to sell me underwear while crossing the road. I suppose just in case I soiled myself as that bus hurtled towards me while I crossed the road. And I see how it is good business. I thought I got a good deal on what looked like rare marble carved elephants. He asked for Rs 1500 for each, I got 3 for Rs 2000. This was after I started to walk away and then he called me back. You know, the whole nine yards of bargaining. True to Murphy's Law, I found the same pieces at a reputed fixed price shop (Choki Dhani) for Rs 450 each. I suppose all that badgering and pestering does work on unsuspecting first time tourists.

Guards – They assert their authority either out of frustration stemming from all the the unruly visitors always doing something stupid or out of the hope in squeezing some cash out of you. Planking or doing yoga in front of the Taj is considered disrespectful and one of the guards asked us to delete the pictures and threatened to throw us out. Incessant whistling and yelling with a sour look doesn't help their image either.

And we have a short 'Only in India' section.

• Where when we couldn't find a restaurant and called them for directions, they told us to wait where we were and an escort showed up a few minutes later.
• Where when you ask for directions, they will say they don't know, but tell you to go straight anyways.
• Where depending how long your shorts are, you may or may not be allowed inside. Above knees is a no go, but two inches longer and you are good to go. Also Fedora hats are considered as a sign of respect as they cover your head but going without covering your hair is disrespectful.
• Where foreigners pay 10-25 times the price and Indian pays for entry to the major landmarks. How do they know who is a foreigner? They ask you to prove you are Indian if you look 'suspicious'. I got 'carded' once. Thankfully I had my Indian DL on me. N.E. Indians probably have a hard time with this racial profiling. One group of Asian looking teens abused a guard in Hindi and told him that that should prove their Indianess.
• Where you take pictures of a monkey and then are pestered to no end for the 'monkey picture fee' by the handler.
• Where the horn is assumed to be a sonic blaster that will magically disintegrate all the traffic in front of you.

And a few observations and tips for fellow tourists.

• Get ready to be pestered for tips everywhere. If you look remotely touristy, or have a foreigner in your group, get ready to be badgered for tips all the time. We once got asked for tips at bathroom in a restaurant because someone handed us soap and paper towels. Be prepared to ignore everyone.
• For some reason, we always asked a foreigner to take pictures of our group. Either because they were probably least likely to run away with our camera or they looked most competent.
• Get a cab for the day as that will work out cheaper than on demand cabs and autos and also, less hassle than driving and parking your own car.
• Stay alert at all times. You never know what random scene or fun experience you might miss. Also it is good for your personal safety.
• Don't have too tight of a schedule. Traffic might be bad, lines might be long. Plus, rushing through might result in a sterile experience. India is about feeling it. And feelings take time.
• Be polite and patient with authorities. Everyone likes feeling important. Budget some time and energy for that purpose.
• Be careful when paying in cash. You might be 'accidentally' short changed. Despite Indians' prowess in Math, for some reason you might get Rs 100 back when you pay Rs 1000 for a Rs 400 item. If possible, provide exact change.

Go ahead, make your own adventure. India is calling, where are you? YOLO!

Thanks to my friends Niki, Nikhil and Sivram for making this trip so much fun.

The job hunt saga

There comes a time in every student’s life when he has to become a hunter even if he is vegetarian. I become a job hunter as I approached the end of my MS degree. As a hunter you can go after the prey or wait for it to come to you. The latter (campus placements) doesn’t really happen often in the US. The other option, go after jobs out there.

Everyone talks about how important networking is in the job hunt. I think I do quite well on Facebook with an average of five likes and two comments for every post. But alas, Facebook doesn’t give you a pay check unless of course you work for Facebook. There are many ways of networking. Ask all you friends and acquaintances if they know anyone working in your field. Talk to profs about their industry connections. Go to job fairs. Attend seminars, workshops, etc. I have shaken so many hands that I think my right wrist needs reconstructive surgery. And I have collected so many business cards that I think I can play poker with them.

As far as applying for jobs goes, a good error free resume is a must have. For interviews it is useful to have a FAQ sheet. Those standard questions like tell me about yourself, where do you see yourself five years from now etc. I had trouble thinking of answer for the weakness question? The only weakness I have is that I have no weaknesses. And don’t forget thank you notes after the interview.

Over the months I had many leads but nothing concrete. Maybe I needed some cement. I think the two main issues for me were visa sponsorship and security clearance. And the best things about job applications? The interviews! You get to boast about yourself (the selling yourself part) and someone is actually listening! And the on site interviews are cool for meeting some really wonderful people besides the all expenses paid aspect of them. As a grad student, spending nights in posh hotel suites is never an option.

But the wait can be long, the wait can be tedious, the wait can be frustrating. All you need is faith in God and yourself. Trust in God that He has a plan for you. Confidence in yourself that you are great and some company will discover your greatness. Pray, talk to your friends, write a diary, sing out aloud, play sport, anything that helps stay sane. And try to have fun as you wait. It is going to be alright.

So I retire from my job hunting career and settle into the retired life of working at an awesome company!



Pic courtesy: http://cascadeclimbers.com, http://www.rightattitudes.com

I will bike until hell freezes over

Winter biking – why and how to keep those wheels turning when everything goes cold.

Minnesotan winters are typified by biting cold, howling wind and icy streets. Why and how does one bike in those conditions? I bike because it gives me at least a half hour in the outdoors everyday. It is great exercise. It is an adventure. It saves money. It gives flexibility with time and places you can go as compared to riding the bus. It helps me avoid those crowded buses, which by the way are prime spots for catching the flu. Sometimes it is an ego thing, the I-ride-my-bike-in-Minnesota-winters thing.

My favorite winter biking conditions are 30F temperatures with light snow and no wind. But you will probably get 2-3 days a year with such weather. This winter there were winds upto 30mph, temperatures of -20F and snow storms. So how to bike through the extreme weather conditions? Here we have a self proclaimed certified winter biker (me) to help you out.

Use an old mountain bike. Mountain bikes are more stable and have better traction that road bikes. I do not use studded winter tires because they are too expensive. I use the usual tires on lower than normal air pressure. I recommend an old bike because the sand and salt on the streets will wreck your bike unless you have the patience to clean it every night. Its also good to have lights because a fair bit of riding is done in the dark. Always check the weather before stepping out to decide on the layers you will need. Make sure to add a 10mph wind (your riding speed) to forecast conditions.

Before riding out, check the brakes to make sure the cables are not frozen stuck. Coming to winter riding itself, ice is the biggest threat. Ride in a low gear. Never use the front brake, especially when you suspect ice on the road. I don't have a front brake. Avoid braking at all on ice and keep the bike as straight as possible and stop peddling. Even if there is no ice, the snow can also be a little slippery. And that's the fun part. You can do all those skids shown on the videos. You can actually use controlled skids on turns because it is better to turn with a skid (where the rear wheel is steering) than bank sharply on the turn when you are moving fast. The aim is to always keep the front wheel straight, upright and rolling. Your rear wheel may slip and slide. It doesn't matter. If you are not confident of the skidding turn, skid before the turn on a straight stretch so that you are sufficiently slow before the turn. If you lose control, let go of the brakes and straighten the handle bars.

All in all, winter biking is an adventure. It is like dirt biking, with all the slush, slipping and sliding. Who says winters have to be boring? Gear up now and go make friends with the Minnesotan winter.

How to fake NRIness

So I was on a flight to India last week. It would be my first time back home since I came to the US more than a year back. I knew, or at least I thought, that everyone was waiting expectantly for my return. I imagined the crowds, the paparazzi, the flashbulbs, the screaming. Ok I may have gone a little too far, even for my standards. Anyways, as the flight taxied off the runway at JFK, I began to think on how I must make an American impression on the people I would meet during my stay. So here are my 10 ways to fake NRIness. It is the #1 bestseller in Goa.

1. The fake accent. It is the most obvious one and I need not elaborate further. Let’s just say that some people start working on it the moment they land in the US. Unfortunately it wasn’t the case with me.

2. Yo clothes. Again, very common and obvious. I am sorry this is sounding like a Times of India article where they state the obvious. But I would like to emphasize that an ‘I Love NYC’ t-shirt is a must.

3. An Apple product. Make sure you have an I-Pod, Pad, Phone in your hands, ears, mouth, etc.

4. Use American vocabulary like trunk for boot, elevator for lift, gas for petrol etc.

5. Exclaim on a regular basis ‘Is this how they do it in India?’

6. Use sunscreen before going out, even at night.

7. Talk about how similar India is to what is shown in the movie ‘Slumdog Millionaire’.

8. Keep emphasizing on how hot it is and how you are suffering from jet lag, even after a month.

9. Once in a while, make the mistake of giving dollar bills while making payments.

10. Distances should be in miles, weight in pounds, and temperature in Fahrenheit.
It is okay if you use pounds for distances also. As long as you sound exotic it should be fine.

Good luck to my US returned readers and fans. All hail the fake NRIs.

Halloween - Eat, drink and be scary!

“Halloween!” and what comes to mind? Costume parties. People dress up in weird tacky costumes and make lame jokes and comments about each others costumes for 5 minutes and then everyone hangs out/parties as usual. Ok, ok, I guess haven’t been here long enough to appreciate American culture and so I still feel the idea of dressing in costumes is almost, hmm, stupid. But then why bother? Just shut up, go with the flow and have fun!

So what did I dress as? Now, costumes are for people who don’t want to be themselves, either because they don’t like themselves or because they really want to be someone else. Now the narcissist that I am, I think I am the best specimen of the human race and so why would I wanna be anyone else? Hmm, but if I dressed as myself, I would be ‘not-dressed’ and so a party pooper in the eyes of the rest. Apparently even the best are not immune to peer pressure. Alright, lets get a costume. $50 for a use-and-dispose quality, made-in-china costume. The patriot in me reasoned, why should I boost the Chinese economy?

Cheap solutions? Dress as a vampire and act mean. Nah, I can’t be ‘mean’ because I am not your ‘average’ guy. I needed something personal, fun and creative. So for one of my friends’ party, I dressed as my friend himself and made some lame jokes which were well appreciated in my opinion. Great party by the way, Pranav and Amanda. Good food and booze, but there wasn’t enough eye candy. So I had to feast on halloween candy instead.

And for Reid and Hannah’s party, I dressed as a text book, in honor of the long conduction homework sessions, which while not resulting in an A grade, gave me a great bunch of friends. My pick up line, suggested by Charlie, was supposed to be, ‘did you know that the integral of ‘e’ raised to ‘x’ looks like sex?’ I think I can use such a line only in my dreams, but there too, girls end up giving me wrong phone numbers. I think I should be happy with Reynold’s numbers and Nusselt's numbers. Maybe I should get a pick-up truck to pick-up girls. Ok, I am digressing from the topic here.

Side note: Pumpkin carving is a Halloween tradition too. It is can be fun if you are good at carving. I am not. But then what am I good at? I will talk about that some other time.

So that’s Halloween for you, through my spectacles. If it doesn’t sound right or fun, I blame my spectacles.

Running a Marathon - Half the story

I will tell only half the story of running a marathon because I will tell you the full story of running a half marathon. So hows one go about running a marathon? As Barney in HIMYM said, “Step one, you start running. There is no step two.” I think I need to elaborate a little more.

I registered for the race after I surprised myself with a rather comfortable 8 mile run with my friend Clare, who is training for a full marathon. A spur of the moment decision led me to register for the twin cities half marathon. Now I needed to set a finish time goal. I felt 2 hours was a challenging as well as a realistic goal. Also a time of 1:59 is so much better than 2:01. So the goal was set.

Next step, training. There is this cool website mapmyrun.com which allows you to map running routes and keep track of your training sessions. I didn’t have any fancy electronics to keep track of my running speed. I made note of various landmarks and their distances along the route. And I had a watch to check the time. I must confess I wasn’t very regular with my training sessions. Common, how many of us like to wake up at 6am to run for almost 2 hours and then have a long tiring graduate student day ahead? But when I ran my last training run I was fairly confident of achieving my 2hr finish time goal.

Finally it was race day. The Fourth of July. The race began at 6:30am. And within minutes it started to rain. Oh dear, I had not run in the rain before. I thought of the positives. It was cooler and the sun wasn’t out. There would be no need of a shower after the race. I wouldn’t have to stop to drink water. But there were some problems too. My clothes became heavy. My pants started slipping with the weight. My specs fogged up. I didn’t wanna bump into anyone and transfer my precious kinetic energy to them.

As the race wore on, I got used to the conditions. The field also thinned out. I upped my pace a little bit. I couldn’t run too fast as all the streets had speed limits. I puffed my chest when I passed another runner and looked the other way when I was passed. Anyone going slower than me was a moron and anyone going faster was a freak. I stuck to a pace of 8:47/mile for most part.

Finally the finish line was in sight. I was well within two hours. My training had borne fruit. I thought of how great an achievement it was for me and of all the food that awaited me beyond the finish line. And then after nearly two hours, I was done! I can’t imagine how people run a full marathon in about the same time. I don’t think I have the sauce in my ......., knees to do a full marathon.

Results:
Finish time: 1:53:50. (winning time 1:13:15)
Ave pace: 8:42/mile
Overall place: 494/2375 finishers

Grad Comics.

The new semester hasn't been easy as I have been quite busy and that has made me dizzy. Lame attempt at being poetic there. Now get ready for some lame attempts at being funny. Do you remember the Friends episode in which Chandler writes down his jokes? So I thought I might make note of some classics I have cracked in the past few days. [:D] means you are supposed to laugh, just like in sitcoms they have those laughter tracks to help you laugh at appropriate times.

“I have a long day ahead of me”. “Not possible, every day has 24 hours.” [:D]

“I cant understand the prof well.” “Sit at the back of the class so you will have more time to catch and understand what the prof says.” [:D]

“There is a meeting at 8:30, such an odd time!” “How is it odd? Both '8' and '30' are even numbers” [:D]

“The Panda is the least racist animal, its black, white and Asian.” “Is Michael Schumacher the most racist person?” [:D]

“I miss gals wearing sleeveless tshirts. When will the summer come?” “Yeah me too, I feel more comfortable with gals wearing sleeveless.” “Why?” “Then I am sure they don't have any tricks up their sleeve!” [:D]

“I went rock climbing yesterday.” “How was it?” “Didnt enjoy it as I am scared of heights.” “Hmm you will not get to far with career when you have to climb the corporate ladder.” [:D]

After a mock interview. Interviewer- “You think well on your feet.” Me thinking “Hows that possible? I was seated suring the interview. It was more like thinking on my butt!” [:D]

Hope you enjoyed the sad jokes. If not, read the post again!

First step towards Prof. Daniel

The other day I went to my first class as a Teaching Assistant. I didn't have to take the lecture but had to discuss any doubts the students had. I went and sat in the front of the class. The prof. introduced us first. I liked the way I had to wave out to the class when the prof. introduced me. I had wondered how I was supposed to acknowledge the intro. Should it be a brief nod and a slight wave? or should I wave like Sonia Gandhi during election rallies. Well, I can't remember what I did. But no one laughed. So it was fine I guess.

After the prof finished his brief material for the hour, the TAs and the prof were open for discussion. The other two TA and the prof were getting all the attention. Yeah I was NBD (No Bhav Dude) here also. Now why would they avoid me? Do I look dumb? Or did they think that they wouldn't understand me? Or did I have body odor? I should have used Axe. Then all the ladies would be swarming around me. I tried to look disinterested by flipping through the text book. Finally someone came up to because the others were occupied. I was nervous. I hope I could answer his doubt. Luckily his doubt was really dumb or as the protocol goes, the doubt was 'simple'. No question is deemed dumb here.

Then some guy asked me a doubt from the homework. Now the homework was given the previous day and I didn't expect anyone to start the homework right away. So I myself hadn't gone through it. And considering that I did the corresponding course 4 years back and I have the retention of a large sized sieve, I was in a spot of bother. I had no idea how to solve the problem he was stuck with. Hmm, what to do? Okay, lets do what most profs normally do when they don't know the answer. Act knowledgeable if the student is confused or act as if you can't follow the student's doubt if the student appears confident. My case was the former. So I said it was a easy problem and that any hints I give might give the answer away. In the mean time I was racking my brains for the solution. I said a few more things like 'it's there in the text book', 'the prof covered it in class', 'you will get it if you apply yourself a bit'. Finally I figured out the solution and told him that he had tried enough and I would tell him the answer. And with a flourish I started scribbling the steps of the problem. He was happy to have got the answer. And I was happy to have managed to wriggle myself out of the sticky situation.

The rest of the discussion hour went smoothly as most students left soon. Good for them and me. Finally the hour ended. I hurried out. I swore to myself to be better prepared next time and cursed the undergrad Daniel for not studying properly. I was also thankful to my profs, no not for teaching me well, but for teaching me how to handle sticky situations. One up Prof. Daniel!

Picture courtesy:
http://www.ibsaf.org/ibsafworld/2008/march/JustJokin/teacher1.jpg
http://www.hello.cat/images/adults4.jpg

Living in a sports mad nation

I am a sports fan. How much of a fan? Well I was disappointed but didn't mourn when John Terry missed the penalty in the Champions league finals. I was happy when India won the cricket world cup. But I didn't go around distributing sweets. So I am somewhere in the middle. But I think I am a misfit in this nation obsessed with sports. Well I may have got such an impression because my friends are mainly guys in their twenties. But then how do you explain a prof discussing football before a lecture or old ladies in the stands for an ice hockey match? So you get an idea of how big sport is here. But this post is not about the fan fanaticism which I am sure all of us Indians know quite well. This post is about the unending list of new sports I have tried or come across in the US.

Football
For the uninformed, this football is nothing like the football the world knows. In fact I don't know why it is called football in the first place. They hardly used their feet to kick that something they call 'ball'. How that weird shaped object is called ball is beyond me. This game is like a human bullfight. Shoving, pushing, running, bang! And he is flat on the floor. Then the referee makes some announcement. And the cycle continues. This goes on for 3 hours. I didn't like the sport one bit. Too much violence. And that dude who runs with the ball reminded me the autos in Bangalore weaving through the traffic hurling abuses at everyone.

Ice Hockey
More violence. The main aim of this sport seems to knock the opponents down and start bashing the opponents. Getting the puck in the goal is an unimportant part of the game. Players just zoom around on skates back and forth. And there is absolute chaos near the touchline as players keep going in and out. I don't think I will understand this game even if it is played at half speed. These Americans took a decent sport like field hockey and made it a bit violent to suit the violent tastes of the American public! But I must appreciate the amazing control they have over that tiny puck on a frictionless surface with those long sticks while zooming around on their skates.

Tennis
Say hello to the right handed Nadal. That's me you skeptics. I watched tennis on TV since I was of your age [:)]. Finally I got a chance to play! I took a course and vowed to beat Nadal when we are both 50. I didn't have to start from from scratch. That's because I already have bulging biceps like Nadal! I like tennis because its a safe sport unlike the above two American sports which require you to write your will before you step on the the playing field. I like the fact that the opponent is on the other side of the net and cannot do anything to me besides yelling like Serena Williams. I can't hit those booming Nadal forehands yet, but maybe that's because I don't wear tight pants like him. Anyways looking forward to the match with Nadal in 2037.

Some more to come in the next post viz Basketball, canoeing, rock climbing, ultimate frisbee etc..

Pic courtesy: http://digitalheadbutt.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/rafael-nadal.jpg

Modern Art – Crap is the name of the game.

Everyone talks about the modern world going to the dogs. Our culture, lifestyle, moral values, etc. but i didn't know that even our art was going to the dogs too. Sorry my canine friends, I am sure your art would be better than the human modern art.

I visited the Weisman Art Museum on the UMN-Twin Cities campus to check out some modern 'art'. I thought that I would come across as cultured and intellectual by visiting art museums. But I wasn't prepared for the rubbish that was in store for me. Utter crap is called art. The more vague and hideous a painting or sculpture is, the more it is revered. Anything simple is considered unintelligent. I felt the world has lost its aesthetic sense. Things that you might not even spare a passing glance at a garage sale is kept at the museum. Some paintings were so hideous that I may get nightmares tonight. On the other end of the scale, things might go into the thrash bin are hung as paintings. There is a 'dirty paper' which is hung up as a piece of art. Read the description in the adjoining picture. Then there was plain colored paper. And some pieces of paper which looked like scribbles of an elementary school kid. And some more paper with water color splashes on it which looked very similar to my rough paintings when I first used watercolors. Oh and for the piece de resistance, there was an exhibit that consisted of a plane steel rod keep diagonal to the corner of the room. In the description it said, the steel rod enhanced the feeling of space. There was so much stuff which really taxed your imagination. You had to think hard to find something worthwhile about the painting.

And the best part was the talk between the guide and other visitors. How such nonsense could conjure such ideas and interpretations is beyond me. These rich people have no other work but a ponder over useless stuff like what the artist was trying to portray, or what led him to paint that particular piece of crap. I bet the artist is laughing his ass off at such in depth analysis of something that was meant to be nonsense! Here are some of the phrases and sentences used by people to describe the paintings; “minimalist and conceptual”,”rejected convention and tradition”,”Individualism, uniqueness, and personal expression were prized.”,”Artists labored to bare their inner souls, and each necessarily forged a new and different visual vocabulary.”,”look closely for a deeper perspective of the openness of the era”,”broke free from the bonds of yore” I could stop myself from laughing. I unwittingly attended the best stand up comedy show.

There were some positives from the visit. It inspired this post. It made me treasure my $1 painting even more. It helped me pass a lazy winter afternoon for free. It gave me a back up profession. Yes an artist. A crap expert like me can definitely put crap on paper.

Oh Leonardo, O Michelangelo, where art thou?



picture credit: http://www.roslynoxley9.com.au/images/galleries/FRANK_SoreThroat_2007/020.jpg

Some blah-blah and bling-bling about nothing in particular!

A few stray thoughts about graduate life. So what is the aim of graduate life? One of my courses makes me feel quite useless. The more I sit in that class, the stronger the urge to jump of a bridge gets. The prof speaks in English, yet it sounds like Greek. Maybe that’s because he uses so many Greek alphabets in his material. The home works are burdensome. But they teach us to think individually as a group or collectively as individuals. Sometimes the solutions to problems are so mathematically involved that you forget what the question was in the first place. A math joke to lighten the mood. Did you know that 3 out of 4 Indians make up 75% of the Indian population?

Grad life teaches you time management. But I could have taken T.I.M.E. classes in India itself instead of coming so far. Grad life teaches you to appreciate the carefree undergrad life, when we had all the time in the world to do nothing. Now when we have one extra hour due to the daylight saving practice, all of us get excited. Grad life teaches you to go to places with free food. Free food implies monetary and time savings. I have also rediscovered the convenience of writing with a pencil. I can’t remember when was the last time I used pencils so extensively. I am so glad I rediscovered the pencil. Makes my assignments much neater.

Yet another stray thought about the importance of the Law of Diminishing Returns. It is best explained through a graph. It is clearly seen that you will get about 75-80% of the desired output within the first 50% of the total effort. And the remaining 20% of output is obtained from the remaining 50% of required effort. Clearly the second 50% is a waste. I have applied this rule to two things. First, to my homework assignments. Attempting and formulating the problem fetches you most of the points. While spending hours over complex algebra hardly gets you any additional points. So it’s best to stop when you feel you will get a certain minimum number of points. The same goes with fitness. I see people slogging it out in the gym for that perfect physique. I feel that 50% of the effort would be sufficient for a decent physique and you would be spared the mental and physical agony of the remaining 50%. Talking about the gym, my exercise sessions have been a serious blow to my ego, which by the way is as big as the entire outdoors! Girls run faster and longer than me! There was time when I used to look down at people less fit than me. How dramatically the tables turn! I don’t fare any better with strength training either. I am the only guy who goes anywhere close to the light weight dumbbells! I console myself thinking that others are fools to be working so hard on their physique when my level of fitness should be fine for all. Yeah I have that ‘I know best’ attitude!

What else have I been up to? Well, I experienced my first American holiday, Halloween. The pumpkin carving experience was cool. But the costume party was even better. But first, the costume shopping experience. When I went shopping, I was shocked by the prices and variety. I couldn’t understand how people could spend $100 and above for Halloween costumes. I tried to find the cheapest one and it took me 30min to find it in the enormous store. Thus, I saw all the other accessories and make up kits that go with the costumes. It was overwhelming. Coming to the party, it was a lot of fun. The assortment of characters in one room was a feast to the eyes. There were star wars’ characters, queens, Elvis, old ladies etc etc. The costumes, accessories and make up were complimented by some talented acting. It was an amazing experience.

Then there was the homecoming parade. Another American tradition I guess. Luckily I got to be part of it through CFACT. It is quite a feeling to wave to crowds lining the streets through the sun roof of a SUV. I felt like a celebrity. The whole thing was over within minutes. But I had had my 15 minutes of fame by then. Yay! Then there was Oktoberfest in the Mech Dept. Free beer and free food attracted many students and profs. The HOD was the center of attraction in his traditional German costume. It was time of merriment. We could talk to profs about stuff besides research. Talking about booze, I went for a religious meeting in a pub here. Not that Christianity encourages drinking, it is just that drinking is not considered bad as long as it is well within limits. Sadly many college students don’t know what the limits are.

And I have had my first haircut. A novel and expensive affair. Back home in India, my barber knew exactly what I wanted and I merely had to sit on the chair and he would get to work. Here the hairdresser first measured my hair length in inches at various places on my head and then asked me how much do I want to cut. I gave a vague answer like short at the sides and back and a little longer on the top. She didn’t seem satisfied and asked me again. I replied by telling her to do whatever she felt was best. Then she asked me something which I didn’t follow. I again told her to do what she felt was best. In the end I was quite happy with what ‘she thought was best’.

Congratulations if you managed to reach this far in reading my blah blah. You are now a certified fan of blah blah. I hope to come up with more blah blah in the near future. Till then its goodbye from my side.

Grad ramblings

Graduate life has started and time is scarce. So you see people asking for 48 hours in a day or 120 minutes in an hour! Ah the common mistake. I always believed in higher efficiency. Thus, I wish I could read two text books at the same time or write two assignments at the same time. I gotta ask Rajnikant about the latter! I guess I exaggerate when I say I am very busy. Else how would you explain me finding time to go rock climbing, or attend student group meetings, or go for tennis classes, or meet a published author (Adam Shepard) or play ultimate Frisbee or go jogging on the beautiful stone arch bridge or write blogs and the list goes on. So grad life hasn’t reached top gear yet. I am hoping it doesn’t anytime soon!

So what else has been happening? Oh, I met this guy at a student group CFACT meeting who was interested in Indian culture. On knowing I was from India he asked me if I would volunteer to teach him Hindi!! I puffed my chest and said why not!! I guess I was the best Hindi speaker in the radius of a few feet. Yeah there are Indians all over the place here. But then I am the only one who delivered the epic dialogue 'jai aur veeru bhag gaye, magar kaise?' So the man was in safe hands when it came to learning Hindi. So being Indian helped me make a new friend.

But being Indian has its downside too. I become really conscious of my accent while speaking to the foreigners. Oops sorry, I mean natives. I am so used to calling Americans foreigners! Coming to my accent, it really stands out. It’s like I over pronounce every word. I used to think that Raj's accent in Big Bang Theory was exaggerated. But now I see the reality. I guess I’ll get used to it as time passes. Not that I feel inferior in any sense. The only time I feel bested by someone is when I walk in front of a mirror! I have installed bullet proof glass mirrors in my apartment cause of my mirror cracking looks! \m/

Many people have asked me whether I felt a culture shock after coming to the US. I guess it wasn’t much because in the US we have only 110 volts as compared to 220 volts in India. An American coming to India will feel a bigger shock! Hilarious jokes aside, one thing that has really caught my eyes, or attention rather, is the low waist fashion here! Guys here have taken low waist to all new levels. Low waist pants would baffle even Newton with their gravity defying lowness. I really want to know how they keep their pants from falling!

Free food is big here in the US. Every event is advertised by free food or pizza. Student group meetings, prayer meetings, gen events and even academic events pull crowds through free food. For instance I have taken a seminar course for 1 credit in the nano science department for the sole reason of free food. They serve amazing cookies, cake and coffee before the seminar. It is eat and then go and relax in the comfy hall!

Anything that’s pissing me off here? Yeah the obscenely high cost of labour. The bike repair shop asked me $6 to install new brake pads! Thank you Rahul for installing them for free! A hair cut costs at least $20. And you can’t get second hand haircuts. So for the first time I see something positive in my hair loss. I guess once I start earning big time(wonder when!), I ‘ll ask himesh where he got his hair weaving done.

Thank you guys for showing 'Fultoo attitude' in reading this fully faltoo post. I wind up, thanking himesh in anticipation for his next block buster, char buster and mind buster movie Radio! One last thing, Radiation is my favourite course. Guess why??

This post is dedicated to Sivram (bloodrayne) who recently questioned my ability in generating crap posts like dis! :D

Picture credits
Awesome Himesh: http://www.indiahits.com/media/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/himesh_reshammiya_radio_rj.jpg

Hindi Pic: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinEtls2dj0E9qvBxXeePuLnblz9G3QErUhtSy86ev0jJFzIzWUFA08dBuMz_Dy5AoKb9sv6lCbMnRuv4Dbh1ct_8EsyI1voAA-IiN3c56RLeYIm-7_37_5OzXrVDbWAAjGQvGAcbakLhE/s400/hindi-day-special.jpg

America - My days so far and a few more stray observations.

And the days fly by. The honeymoon period of grad life is over and classes have begun. Luckily no assignments have been given. So I still have time to blog! First I will write about what I was up to in the past couple of weeks.

I moved into my apartment on September 1. It was unfurnished. So I scouted around for free furniture around the neighbourhood and cheap furniture at garage sales. Yeah, I actually picked up decent tables and chairs left behind by the original owners. I also got some great stuff for rock bottom prices at garage sales. Thus I managed to furnish my apartment without much expenditure. But then you can’t or won’t want to get things like food stuff, consumables, utensils, cosmetics etc. second handed. So we went on a mega shopping spree. We spent $132 at Cub foods for eatables, $312 and $115 at Target and Wal-Mart respectively for household items and $140 at the Indian food store. The above bills are shared between Rahul and me. Oh and one more thing, don’t try to convert it into Rupees but if you do want an estimate, then use $1=Rs12 as the conversion factor. I got that number from my general intuition and the PPP concept.

Then there were cooking classes through youtube. Rahul is a great cook and so there isn’t much need for him to learn recipes through youtube. Except when he wanted to know how to boil pasta. And we found an 8min video on that! You should definitely watch this video and see the amount of detail. I tried my hand at making sooji halwa from this video but it didn’t turn out quite well the first time. The second attempt was a success due to my modifications to the original recipe. Besides cooking I biked around the place a bit. I mainly biked along the River Mississippi and was treated to some stunning scenery.

I also attended a pre inauguration event at the new football stadium here. Not many people turned up as the match wasn’t played at the stadium but was screened live from New York. I went for it as all the tickets for the home games have been sold out and this would be my only chance to see the stadium. The initial enthu died out immediately as none of us followed the rules of the game. We cheered loudly whenever the American spectators got excited. I decided to try to get hold of tickets for college basketball games as that’s the only American sport I can follow. Oh and btw NBA tickets go for only $5 on some nights. I must definitely check that out!


We also went to lake cedar on a Sunday. Beautiful place. The walk through forested trails in a city was quite amazing. The lake is quite scenic and it has a small beach too! I, coming from Goa, didn’t think too highly of their beach. But the people there were making good use of it. Some were sunbathing, others splashing around in the water and some kids were making sand castles. I also visited the Mall of America, reportedly to be the biggest mall in the US. Lots of shops, restaurants and amusement rides.

Oh yeah, I started with my classes this week. My first class was a course in the Geology department. I sat on the 2nd bench and the 2nd last bench. So can you tell me how many benches were there in the class? :D The student behaviour was extremely causal by our standards. Guys were drinking coke or coffee during the class, some had caps on, some including me had come in shorts, one guy was sitting with his knees folded at his chin! And sometimes students just got up and walked out in the middle of the lecture! My other two classes went on similar lines. We had to hit the ground running as far as teaching was concerned. I already have reading to do. Thankfully no homework yet! So then, here’s to fun filled months of slogging ahead!! Cheers! :D

And to sum up, a few more stray observations of the Americans. Time is kept right down to a minute. Buses are supposed to arrive at times like 11:03 or 8:57. During our orientation, the profs were interrupted the minute they crossed their time limit. Coming late to appointments is considered to be an insult to the other party. Another point, buses and trucks have lady drivers here. Back in India, I thought Shaggy was adding spice to his ‘it wasn’t me’ video by having a lady drive a big truck. The buses here are quite disabled friendly. Passengers in wheelchairs are lifted into the bus through a mechanism and the wheelchairs are secured at designated spots in the bus. Pretty neat!

All in all I am having a good time so far. And the dream will continue....

America on a high

Last night my roommate Rahul suddenly asked me if I would like to go to a pub. Well, I am not a big fan of pubs given the fact that I have gone to a pub only once in my 22 years of existence. Why not, I thought to myself. It would be a nice way to ‘drink’ in the American youth culture. Besides I could drown my graduate life sorrows in anticipation. Count me in, I declared enthusiastically.

The five of us met outside a pub called Burrito Loco in Dinkytown. I entered cautiously thinking what the norms and rates would be. After a quick look at our passports to verify our age, we were given a stamp of approval on our wrists! And we were in. I soaked in the atmosphere which was pleasantly smoke free. Lots of youngsters making their way around a noisy crowded space. There were some LCDs around. Some guys playing beer pong on a couple of tables. I found the idea of throwing a ball that has rolled all over the pub floor into a glass of beer quite disgusting. There was the counter at one end where everyone was waiting patiently in lines for their elixir of life. And last but not the least lots of hot gals around, unfortunately arm in arm with mean looking hefty guys. I decided to join the gym from the next day!

It was time for some drinks. And that involved standing in the long queue. I looked around and remembered how we had a peek at American college life through movies and sitcoms. It was almost the same except they wasn’t any PDA around and everyone seemed sober. Rahul got us the first round. We found a table and sipped in the brew. Akhil and I went to get the next round. We didn’t know which beer to order as Kingfisher and Fosters wasn’t on the list. I wanted Budweiser as I didn’t have an advisor. We asked some guys which one to order. They suggested Guinness. I had decided to pay for the round. But there was some offer where in if you call correctly in a coin toss, the drink was free. And unbelievably Akhil called correctly all four times! Yay, free drinks! Unfortunately luck turned around on its head for the next round and I ended up paying for all the four drinks!

We sat at our table sipping our drinks and munching on free popcorn. Yeah, we all like free stuff! Dry jokes are much funnier with drinks around and people laugh at anything. I can’t remember any besides when one guy said you suck and the reply was ‘U of M’ (That’s short for university of Minnesota) Ha ha ha! Then we had some serious discussions like who guided the first Phd student? As all PhD students are guided by a PhD guy. It was like what came first, egg or the kitchen? (not chicken, slip of the tongue due to the smooth beer) After a while we had had enough and decided to leave.

We met a small group of friendly Americans outside. And guess what, guys all over the world discuss the same stuff, gals, booze and adventure. It was time for goodbyes and we decided to call it a night. Cheers to AMERICA!

Daniel takes his first flight

19th August, 1am. The hour had come. I was sitting near the departure gate admiring the 5-star ambience, a far cry from all the grimy and smelly railway stations I had been to so far. I wondered what was in store for me in the flight. I was all set even though I hadn’t used Set Wet.

The door was opened and I walked through the tunnel to the flight. This was the first time I stepped into a plane. It was awesome. Good air hostesses –check. I found my seat by the aisle and stowed my baggage. So who was the lucky person to get a seat next to mine? All of us dream of sitting next to a ‘hot chick’ on a flight. I waited with bated breath and began flipping through a magazine.

Then a girl’s voice, “Excuse me.” I look up, “yes..” “ That’s my seat.” Yay a blonde! My mind began the evaluation. Face 3/5, figure 3/5. Not bad for beginners luck. Now for the personality marks on 10. She seemed to be in a grumpy mood and was mumbling something and jabbing the buttons of the entertainment system. I waited. When to break the ice? She seemed cold like an Antarctic ice sheet. I waited a while. Then I tried to make some conversation. “Hi, I am Daniel and you are?” She mumbles something and continued jabbing buttons. Huh! I gave her 0/10 and also reduced her other scores! The grapes are sour.

I decided not to let that episode dampen my enthusiasm. I was flying for the first time and I was going to the US! I was so excited! Hell, I might have even danced in the aisle. But the pilot asked the passengers to fasten their seat belts. Loser! The dancing would have to wait. The engines revved up and the plane began taxiing down the run way. And take off. Mumbai and India were left far below. I thought of what an awesome machine an air plane was! Something so heavy and bulky took off and flew so smoothly. Mech rules and so does all engineering and technology.

Once the steep ascent was over I looked at the entertainment system in front of me. A screen, something like a stereo and two nobs. The passengers in front had switched on their screens and were watching movies. I also followed suit and found a set of head phones. But where do I plug them in? I looked around at the others but couldn’t figure out. I fervently hoped the female next to me would plug her headphones. But she just sat in her seat, muttering. Hmm, now even though a 10 feet concrete mental and communication wall existed between us, I didn’t want to appear dumb to her. So I decided to act intellectual and began reading a book. But I couldn’t concentrate. How could it be so difficult to find the head phones’ socket? Should I ask the air hostess discretely? Nah, leave it.

Then food was served. Ah, some diversion. Food was great. And it was cool to realise that I was having my dinner at an altitude of 36k feet. I had a little trouble with the cutlery and I yearned for a sleeper class railway compartment where anything would go. Here everything was so formal. I managed to get the food from the tray into mouth without any accident.

Time for a nap. I wanted to recline my seat. Oh dear, how do I do that? The only reclining seats I had used were those Volvo bus seats which had a lever at the side. Where was the damn lever? After fidgeting for a while I gave up. Maybe I could ask the air hostess discreetly. So I acted as if the seat was jammed and asked her to help me. She deftly pressed a button on the arm rest and it was done. How the hell I didn’t see that? And there I found the socket for the head phones too! Talk about killing two birds with one stone. Finally I was settled.

It was past 4 am and I wasn’t sleepy. Jet lag before flying itself? I guess it was all the adrenaline from the excitement. I checked the movies and decided to watch Ghajini. By the time Aamir finished off all the villains, my tummy was growling. What now? The plane was quiet and dark. Everyone was asleep. How do I call an air hostess? I walked up and down the aisle but couldn’t spot them. Suddenly someone switched on a yellow light and from nowhere an airhostess turned up. I rushed back to my seat and used the same light. When she arrived, I politely apologized for disturbing her and asked for some food. After a second dinner it was time to sleep.

It was good to wake up to the sweet voice and smiling face of a pretty lady (the air hostess and not the lousy dame next to me!). I should change my alarm tone to something similar! After breakfast it was time to land. Meanwhile ice queen next to me had melted a bit. We made some light conversation and then the bombshell. I had asked her the purpose of her visit. And she said she was visiting family in Baroda! An Indian putting on airs just because she had dyed her hair!

The PA announced that the Brussels airport had low visibility and had the flight would be diverted to the nearby Liege airport as the fuel was running out. The first hitch of my trip. I thought to myself if everything goes smoothly, that trip is not remembered. Little did I know what lay ahead for me. A rapid descent and my ears popped in celebration. The green Belgian countryside came into view. A slight jerk and the plane taxied to a halt. The pilot announced that we would have to wait on the tarmac till we got a green signal from Brussels. So I opened my book and wrote my blog! :D