How to fake NRIness

So I was on a flight to India last week. It would be my first time back home since I came to the US more than a year back. I knew, or at least I thought, that everyone was waiting expectantly for my return. I imagined the crowds, the paparazzi, the flashbulbs, the screaming. Ok I may have gone a little too far, even for my standards. Anyways, as the flight taxied off the runway at JFK, I began to think on how I must make an American impression on the people I would meet during my stay. So here are my 10 ways to fake NRIness. It is the #1 bestseller in Goa.

1. The fake accent. It is the most obvious one and I need not elaborate further. Let’s just say that some people start working on it the moment they land in the US. Unfortunately it wasn’t the case with me.

2. Yo clothes. Again, very common and obvious. I am sorry this is sounding like a Times of India article where they state the obvious. But I would like to emphasize that an ‘I Love NYC’ t-shirt is a must.

3. An Apple product. Make sure you have an I-Pod, Pad, Phone in your hands, ears, mouth, etc.

4. Use American vocabulary like trunk for boot, elevator for lift, gas for petrol etc.

5. Exclaim on a regular basis ‘Is this how they do it in India?’

6. Use sunscreen before going out, even at night.

7. Talk about how similar India is to what is shown in the movie ‘Slumdog Millionaire’.

8. Keep emphasizing on how hot it is and how you are suffering from jet lag, even after a month.

9. Once in a while, make the mistake of giving dollar bills while making payments.

10. Distances should be in miles, weight in pounds, and temperature in Fahrenheit.
It is okay if you use pounds for distances also. As long as you sound exotic it should be fine.

Good luck to my US returned readers and fans. All hail the fake NRIs.

Counting your countless blessings

My life is great. I am so thankful for everything in my life. I have listed some things that most of us can relate to. I think if we make our own full list, it will never end as God blesses us everyday!

I thank God for the gift of faith. Without faith, my life would be empty.

I thank God for the free and safe country I live and have lived in. There are so many people who wake up in the morning unsure if they will be killed or end up in jail by evening.

I thank God for grad life. I know it is tough, but I think about how many people would give everything to be in my place? Many people work much harder than me for much lesser rewards.

I thank God for good parents. They love me dearly and despite their humble backgrounds gave and continue to give me everything they can.

I thank God for my brothers. They were, are, and will always be there for me.

I thank God for my friends. There are so many people who are alone in this world.

I thank God for great health and an able body. Isn’t it awesome feeling to run like the wind or to soak in a sunset?

I thank God for giving me food, clothing, and shelter. Think about the time when you missed lunch for some reason, or forgot your coat on a cold windy day, or if you had to sleep at a railway station.

I thank God for keeping me safe from natural disasters. Picture the earthquake in Haiti, the tsunami in Indonesia, the hurricane in New Orleans or the floods in Pakistan.

I thank God for the ample water around. Is there anything more necessary, fun and refreshing than water?

I am blessed and I thank God that I realize it.

Halloween - Eat, drink and be scary!

“Halloween!” and what comes to mind? Costume parties. People dress up in weird tacky costumes and make lame jokes and comments about each others costumes for 5 minutes and then everyone hangs out/parties as usual. Ok, ok, I guess haven’t been here long enough to appreciate American culture and so I still feel the idea of dressing in costumes is almost, hmm, stupid. But then why bother? Just shut up, go with the flow and have fun!

So what did I dress as? Now, costumes are for people who don’t want to be themselves, either because they don’t like themselves or because they really want to be someone else. Now the narcissist that I am, I think I am the best specimen of the human race and so why would I wanna be anyone else? Hmm, but if I dressed as myself, I would be ‘not-dressed’ and so a party pooper in the eyes of the rest. Apparently even the best are not immune to peer pressure. Alright, lets get a costume. $50 for a use-and-dispose quality, made-in-china costume. The patriot in me reasoned, why should I boost the Chinese economy?

Cheap solutions? Dress as a vampire and act mean. Nah, I can’t be ‘mean’ because I am not your ‘average’ guy. I needed something personal, fun and creative. So for one of my friends’ party, I dressed as my friend himself and made some lame jokes which were well appreciated in my opinion. Great party by the way, Pranav and Amanda. Good food and booze, but there wasn’t enough eye candy. So I had to feast on halloween candy instead.

And for Reid and Hannah’s party, I dressed as a text book, in honor of the long conduction homework sessions, which while not resulting in an A grade, gave me a great bunch of friends. My pick up line, suggested by Charlie, was supposed to be, ‘did you know that the integral of ‘e’ raised to ‘x’ looks like sex?’ I think I can use such a line only in my dreams, but there too, girls end up giving me wrong phone numbers. I think I should be happy with Reynold’s numbers and Nusselt's numbers. Maybe I should get a pick-up truck to pick-up girls. Ok, I am digressing from the topic here.

Side note: Pumpkin carving is a Halloween tradition too. It is can be fun if you are good at carving. I am not. But then what am I good at? I will talk about that some other time.

So that’s Halloween for you, through my spectacles. If it doesn’t sound right or fun, I blame my spectacles.

Exploring the Heart of the Earth at Glacier National Park

A long endless drive, through the flat plains of Western Minnesota, North Dakota and Eastern Montana, finally came to an end as the majestic Rocky Mountains came into view. We were greeted with bright sunshine and crisp mountain air. It was my first time in the mountains. I was excited. I was awed. There they stood in front of me lofty and imposing, timeless and serene.

This was a hiking and camping trip. So everyday we climbed some mountain or hiked some trail. A trail up a mountain can be inspiring, it can be daunting. I have a new found respect for mountaineers. You are at the base of a mountain and think to yourself, ‘well, this is a couple of miles, should be done in a jiffy’ and then two hours later your are still climbing. Your brow is soaked in sweat, your nose is bleeding due to the high altitude. Every sinew is stretched, every muscle is exerted. If hiking is not tiring enough, try backpacking when you have 40 pounds of gear weighing you down. Backpacking requires a badass attitude. And a body in great physical shape. Luckily I am blessed with both.


Nature is so beautiful. The sound of wind and water. The sound of silence. The sight of lofty mountains. The sight of tranquil blue lakes. The smell of wild flowers. This was nature’s own canvass. Painted to perfection. You had to catch your breath before it was taken away by the breath taking views or the thin high altitude air. To quote John Muir, “in every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” I realized we are caretakers of a truly beautiful world. We can never own something so magnificent. It is our job to preserve it for posterity.

And then there is the ever cool camping experience. Sleeping in tents, cooking outdoors, campfire and s’mores. And on this camping trip I had no cell phone service or Internet access for a week! It was a get away in a true sense.


I thank God for giving me an opportunity to see some more of his amazing creation. Thanks also to the Center for Outdoor Adventure at UMN for organizing the trip and to all my friends on the trip for making this trip so much fun.


A brief description of our hikes.
Day 1: Garden Wall (4 miles). It was a warm-up hike, to get our feet going.
Day 2: Sunrift Gorge - Siyeh Pass - Siyeh Bend (10.3 miles). Elevation at start point - 4640 ft. Elevation at top - 8240 ft. Elevation at end point - 5840 ft.
Day 3: Grinell Glacier (11miles). Elevation at start and end point - 4860 ft. Elevation at top - 6560 ft.
The first 3 days were day hikes and we camped at Rising Sun campground.
Day 4: Packers Roost - Flat Top Mountain campsite (5.7 miles). This was with the 40 lb. of gear. We has an elevation gain of 2640 ft. over 3 miles.
Day 5: Flat Top Mountain campsite - Sue Lake - Flat Top Mountain campsite (13.9 miles). Maximum elevation 7600 ft.
Day6: Flat top Mountain campsite - Packers Roost (5.7 miles). This again was with all the gear.

Running a Marathon - Half the story

I will tell only half the story of running a marathon because I will tell you the full story of running a half marathon. So hows one go about running a marathon? As Barney in HIMYM said, “Step one, you start running. There is no step two.” I think I need to elaborate a little more.

I registered for the race after I surprised myself with a rather comfortable 8 mile run with my friend Clare, who is training for a full marathon. A spur of the moment decision led me to register for the twin cities half marathon. Now I needed to set a finish time goal. I felt 2 hours was a challenging as well as a realistic goal. Also a time of 1:59 is so much better than 2:01. So the goal was set.

Next step, training. There is this cool website mapmyrun.com which allows you to map running routes and keep track of your training sessions. I didn’t have any fancy electronics to keep track of my running speed. I made note of various landmarks and their distances along the route. And I had a watch to check the time. I must confess I wasn’t very regular with my training sessions. Common, how many of us like to wake up at 6am to run for almost 2 hours and then have a long tiring graduate student day ahead? But when I ran my last training run I was fairly confident of achieving my 2hr finish time goal.

Finally it was race day. The Fourth of July. The race began at 6:30am. And within minutes it started to rain. Oh dear, I had not run in the rain before. I thought of the positives. It was cooler and the sun wasn’t out. There would be no need of a shower after the race. I wouldn’t have to stop to drink water. But there were some problems too. My clothes became heavy. My pants started slipping with the weight. My specs fogged up. I didn’t wanna bump into anyone and transfer my precious kinetic energy to them.

As the race wore on, I got used to the conditions. The field also thinned out. I upped my pace a little bit. I couldn’t run too fast as all the streets had speed limits. I puffed my chest when I passed another runner and looked the other way when I was passed. Anyone going slower than me was a moron and anyone going faster was a freak. I stuck to a pace of 8:47/mile for most part.

Finally the finish line was in sight. I was well within two hours. My training had borne fruit. I thought of how great an achievement it was for me and of all the food that awaited me beyond the finish line. And then after nearly two hours, I was done! I can’t imagine how people run a full marathon in about the same time. I don’t think I have the sauce in my ......., knees to do a full marathon.

Results:
Finish time: 1:53:50. (winning time 1:13:15)
Ave pace: 8:42/mile
Overall place: 494/2375 finishers