A visit to ‘Excellent Men Hairdressers’

The title in simple terms would be ‘a haircut’. The other day I thought my hair needed some ‘dressing’.. So I went to the renowned hairdresser of Mathikere.. ‘Excellent hair dressers’.. I stepped in their excellent studio and asked for a hair dressing that would include a haircut and a shave.. The artist (barber here) listed out haircuts like a waiter telling you the afternoon menu in a restaurant. He mentioned hairstyles like round cut, military cut, and some exotic ones like golden star cut and himesh cut.. I guess he believed in the saying that ‘god made man, barbers make him handsome’.. I told him I would like a simple cut.. Just cut my hair properly so that I shouldn’t look like a chicken just out off hot water..

I settled into the chair admiring my hair.. I noticed my hairline was receding.. May because of global warming.. I took an optimistic view of things and thought I looked wise with my balding head.. People would think I am a gr8 thinker (which I am obviously, to think of this crap).. I decided I had to live up to my ‘thinker’ looks.. N what better place to think than a cosy chair at a barber’s shop? Neways there was nothing else do as the barber got down to his trimming business.

I began thinking of my trips to my barber in Goa. It was a gr8 place to catch the latest gossip. One would be updated on everything under the sun.. From matka to accidents to fights of both men and bulls.. Then there would be self proclaimed cricket n football experts giving their views on hockey to anyone who would care to listen to them. The drunkards added some spice with their ‘spirited’ efforts in abusing some nonexistent person.. I was disturbed from my reverie my some sudden commotion.. The TV volume was increased.. I realised the umpire had given a wrong decision against india in the test match. I worriedly looked, not at the TV, but at the mirror to see if the guy had nicked my eyebrow. I was relieved to see no damage done.. I don’t have my eyebrows insured and I didn’t wanna look like a Chinese guy.. Ok one bit of advice.. Never go for a haircut when India is playing a cricket match.. At least don’t sit in the hot seat until the match is over just in case u think the barber’s shop is the best place to catch the live telecast.. Worst would be if sachin gets clean bowled while the barber is working on ur hair.. Your ear might get a nasty nick as the barber vents his fury.. Neways, the barber started blabbering something in kannad to the others in the shop right next to my ear.. I was like hold your horses buddy.. Your abuses ain’t gonna make any difference.. So STFU (shut up for the lay people) and get back to work.. He calmed down soon and continued with the ‘snip snip snip’.

Now this barber had a fat tummy.. N his constant hovering around me gave me a relaxing massage!! (If u see the connection).. I started dozing off.. Suddenly ‘phus-phus’ and water was sprinkled in my face.. Holla mate!! Wassup? He thought I was sleeping and he wanted to ask me if he should knock my cool moustache. I thought for a moment. I imagined I was a sandalwood actor with a thick moustache.. Chicks swarming around me.. Ah.. And I was king like Singh is King!! I shook those dreams away and looked wistfully at my thin, uneven, moth-eaten moustache.. I sighed sadly and said decisively ‘knock it of big guy’.. So the barber tried to position my head precisely with respect to all 6 coordinates for the ‘sacrifice’.. Madame Toussad’s wax statues might be less precisely positioned.. N I had to stay still in this position.. Then some stray hair settled on my nose.. It started getting tickly.. So I asked the barber to scratch it for me.. Good he didn’t ask what to scratch..

Finally my hair was dressed..I paid him the fees.. He asked me if I wanted to colour my hair... I said ‘nah, non off my ancestors were peacocks’ n walked off into the cool evening feeling liberated from the burden on my head.

Stray thoughts on Diwali celebrations in Bangalore

A few stray thoughts bout the festival of lights that was celebrated over the past few days.. I have to say that the festival of lights has certainly become a festival of noise and smoke.. I got a feeling i was living in Iraq with all the 'bombing' around me.. Tradition seems to have taken a back seat with hardly ne lamps and akash diyas around.. Jus noise, smoke and some more noise.. If i had a chance to be deaf once a year, i wud certainly choose Diwali time..

I have learnt to appreciate the beauty of silence after this episode. I never knew it wud be so wonderful to experience silence. I like the pictures of Diwali which showed calm n serene lamps arranged in beautiful patterns and was hoping to see them for real for the first time this year. But all i got was boom boom boom.

I asked one guy here at IISc as to why people burst bombs and make noise during Diwali. He said to express their joy. I said to myself, its a blessing that these people dont feel happy too often!! A last observation.. I noticed that the people who burst crackers and bombs close their ears, and sometimes even eyes, tightly after they light the fuse. I wonder what joy u get by making noise and nt listening to it urself. Its like goin fr a mime show or an art exibition and closing your eyes!!

Anyways its all over now.. Bangalore has returned back to normal and I am at peace..

Diwali -- Festival of lights!!

Every year this great festival is celebrated with pomp and fervor all over India. Thousands of tonnes of fireworks are burnt during the Diwali season. But is this what Diwali is actually about?

So much money literally goes up in smoke during Diwali. I am sure this money could be spent for some nobler cause. Maybe it could be given to charity or to an orphanage. Imagine a child's face light up when he receives gifts. I am sure that light would be brighter than the light from the most powerful fireworks!

Besides these fireworks cause large scale air and noise pollution. Most fireworks contain harmful heavy metals like lead and cadmium. I don't think I have to elaborate on the noise part. Each household thinks their Diwali has to be noisier than their neighbour's. Noise, beside being an irritant, is also a health hazard. Also give a thought to the poor children who are forced to work in dangerous conditions to make these fireworks. We encourage such atrocities by our indiscriminate use of fireworks. The accidents caused during Diwali festivities have put out the lights of many families forever. These are just a few reasons why I feel we ought to rethink the way we celebrate Diwali.

I am not against celebrations and traditions. Of course it is the time to celebrate. Maybe we could have community firework sessions so that all people will enjoy the same display. Or we could revert to the old tradition of lighting lamps. Fireworks was never an Indian tradition. Fireworks were invented by the Chinese who I am sure have no idea about Diwali.

In Goa too, we have this weird tradition of bursting crackers on various occasions. We burn crackers during feasts, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries etc etc. It is supposedly to inform the community of the occasion. I am firmly against this practice and have convinced my parents to put an end to it at least when we are celebrating the occasion.

So my dear readers it is time for a change. A change for the better. So here is wishing all my readers a very Happy Diwali!!!

Karzzzz -- You will pay this debt wid your life!!!

Movie Review

Guess who's back, back again??? Himesh!!!! the legend of bollywood is back!! After his blockbuster debut movie, Aap Ka Suroor - The real love story, Himesh has proved to be a real talent in having the audience in splits within minutes with his acting and dialogs in Karzzzz.. I apologize to himesh bhai for not seeing the first day first show. But hey, the fun never sets when himesh settles debts (pun intended)

I paid homage to himesh's new movie Karzzzz, which supposedly had the tag line Vengeance Is Back, at Lido mall on saturday nite.. N boy was it the best 3 hrs of my life for a very long time. Himesh's acting and dialog delivery are mind boggling.. And the story line is full of suspense that i was on the edge of the seat for most of the 3 hrs.. I didnt c the original Karzzzz mind u.. I could go on and on the awesomeness that is himesh!! But i don think i would do justice to this masterpiece by describing it in my blog. You have got 2 c it 2 beliv it..

However i'll still mention some of the 'cheeeaaaq' and 'ma ma mass' parts of the movie.. My personal favourite was the cool and awesome way himesh claps 2 open the safe.. That ws truely legendery.. Then there was the fight scene in which himesh takes off from a short run up.. 2012 medal propects there.. the costumes throughout the movie were..well.. masss.. I think govinda shud take a walk... n Urmila too had a sexy full golden outfit.. made here look like a character from Drona!! the scene wid 2 himesh's is a spiritual experience!! All the single guys out dere (including myself) shud tk coaching frm himesh fr flirting.. I m sure ne gal wud fall for such stuff.. the ice cream scene ws very romantic!! I mus also mention his constant sideways cool pocket maar (reference Vaibhav reviews) look.. No top view or front view.. only side view.. N looks like bcoz of the financial meltdown, himesh resorted to cost cutting measures in the make-up area.. A person supposed 2 b 25 yrs older 2 himesh looks younger than him.. or is it becoz our evergreen himesh is turning brown?? :P

Himesh is a gr8 self proclaimed dude.. the way the gals faint during his concerts, n how he proclaims himself 2 b a rock star.. N the dialog in which they say aap ka suroor was a super hit!! (holla holla to that!!) Besides himesh's dancing really inspires all aspiring dancers like me.. I must make a passing comment on the several successful attempts at comedy in the movie.. those were the only parts in the movie when i ws nt laughing!! :D

On the whole a gr8 all round performance by himesh.. 5 star rating by me!! And now a few points which point to the fact that i m the gr8est himesh fan of all time.. self proclaimed jus like my idol himesh!!

• I was movie free since january( meaning i didnt go 2 cinema hall since jan) And i broke the run by goin for Karzzzz
• Aap ka suroor is the only movie, hindi or english, that i have since more than 1.5 times. I have seen it 3 times for the record..
• Himesh himself has acknowledge me in Karzzzz.. there is a chracter named Dr. Daniel in the movie.. (For those who have seen the movie, dont comment on this part!! )

All in all Himesh has really spiced up my miserable pre-himesh life!!!

Communal Riots -- Based on absolutely illogical reasonings!!

I am sure thousands of blogs have been written on this issue.. I just had a couple thoughts about this issue.

-- What is a forced conversion? I am a Catholic since birth. But no where it is written that I am a Catholic. I have all the documents of the Govt of India namely, passport, election card, driving license, pan card, birth certificate etc. But non of these documents say I am Catholic. I am a Catholic in my heart and in my mind. And I am sure no power in this world can read what is in my heart and mind. I go to church every sunday. Does that make me a Christian? I have been to temples also. So does that make me a Hindu? Ones faith is ones state of mind. So all this forced conversion talk is utter nonsense

-- Many people are saying that India was a Hindu country before Muslims and Christians came here and converted the natives. And so all people who are not Hindus have been forcibly converted sometime in the past. I totally agree with that. Historically India has been a Hindu country. But does it mean that India has no place for non Hindus? So what should the USA and the European countries do in this regard? Drive out the thousands of Hindus living peacefully there for generations? Or maybe be 'forcibly convert, them to Christianity. We all know what a disaster the Indo-Pak division was. Lets hope nothing like that ever happens again.

And just another passing remark about inducements offered by Christian Missionaries. Shashi Taroor made a very valid point in this regard in his sunday column in TOI. Why dont the Hindu and Muslim fundamentalist also try to induce people to convert to their respective faiths by offering people financial benefits? Imagine the joy the poverty stricken villagers would feel when offered goodies by not one, but three different parties!!

I sincerely hope that this madness will come to an end. I pray for the victims, that God give them the strength to live through this difficult times. I pray that God bless the attackers, so that they channel their abundant energies for the betterment of mankind. After all one the greatest Christian missionaries of all time St. Paul also was once a tormentor of the Christians.